Wait a minute. If Clinton is hanging there, then who came out of the apartment in New York....

All wars are started because men can’t control their emotions, can’t communicate nicely using big words, and can’t share.

He literally advocated for violence. Tell me again about how Black Lives Matter is ruining America?

So if Clinton wins, the “true patriots” will gather beneath a tree, slit their flesh and drain themselves dry to water said tree?

Doesn’t it seem like what Trump really means when he says “make America great again” is “make me feel like a big man”? Like, on most objective metrics America is doing better than before, and on the ones where we’re not so great (rolling back access to abortion providers, rising income inequality) he doesn’t actually…

I’m starting to think Donald has such an issue with bowel movements — from his wife to his political rivals and now even infants — because the man hasn’t had a healthy, satisfying shit since the Reagan era. I picture him straining away for hours a day on his gold-plated toilet, only to produce one bloody rabbit-pellet…

Fuck you, Mike Pence. You Hank Hill’s father looking ass. You god damn funeral insurance actor looking ass. You fucking hateful lego figure looking ass. Go to hell, you fucking parasitic worm wearing a white wig coming out of Donald Trumps asshole. I hope you fucking rot.

I’m too burned out on this election to say something edifying so fuck this guy and fuck the other guy too.

And for his next trick, I hope he’ll make himself disappear.

I don’t know what he’s worried about. Trump supporters have already proven there’s really nothing he can so or do that would make them come to their senses.

“The fact is,” Trump continued, “that they’re gaming the system, and I think, maybe, we should have no moderator. Let Hillary and I sit there and just debate because I think the system is being rigged so it’s gonna be a very unfair debate, and I can see it happening right now because everyone’s saying that he was…

So...just Trump screaming, red-faced, while Clinton rolls her eyes?

One of my favourite sayings is “Lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man” and could you IMAGINE the shit we could get done if we even split up and distribute Trump’s level of confidence?

He doesn’t actually know what a debate is, which is not a surprise. At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he didn’t quite know what shoes were.

I just cannot fathom how it must be to go through life so coddled that you are comfortable spouting the shit that comes out of his mouth. I would want to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment if I said any of this garbage. How, HOW?! does anyone get through life without ever being told "no"? He is such a spoiled…

Seriously? “Very unfair?” You think being president is nothing but a 24-7 game of grab ass covered in a soft candy shell? Life isn’t fair you whiny sentient Facebook meme.

Steve Scully is always the backup :(

I am starting to suspect that Donald Trump doesn’t really see reality like the rest of us do. No proof, but let’s think about that.

I came here to write something funny, but fuck if Trump hasn’t just beaten the funny right out of me.