Honestly, this is funnier than anything any of us could hope to comment:

I was tempted to give it the benefit of the doubt because I once got a blowjob in the parking lot of the Rooster T Feathers comedy club, but then I realized Rooster T Feathers is in Sunnyvale, not Santa Clara.

I know the snark is strong with this one but from the original investigative article:

My mind started racing too, then it took a shortcut and just sorta pondered stuff. Then at very end it started racing again.

No one ever said switching to triathlons was easy.  RIP

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Now we know why he didn’t run triathalons

Plus she got the firm after Vinny retired.

It’s him in a mirror because you were the real Nick Fury the whole time.

Man, these guys really won’t defend anything.

“...under federal sentencing guidelines he’s expected to spend the rest of his life in prison.”

“Voting: Meh.”

Counterpoint: No, he doesn’t. He’s a genuinely good person who is imperfect, like everyone is, but is actually willing to learn and grow.

I mean, Embiid was literally crying.

“When he opens his mouth it’s a vacuous hole: There’s little room for a brain or anything else.”

Yeah, I’d definitely rather focus on the fact that she shared, like, a thing implying that grieving parents’ pain was false then the fact that she’s not the best voice actor.

And Rosebud is a sled.

The show is dark and full of errors? Ehh????

Yeah. It stings a bit.