It makes me seem like a bad person, but...I just don't know how I feel about this. I mean, I am glad that this little girl is doing better, but the list is a list - meaning there are other actual people waiting in line. It's not like there are so many extra lungs hanging around that they get thrown out like day-old…

Dude, if I found out I was giving birth to a damn LION, you better believe I'd abort that ish!

"If you're confused about how airplanes stay up, you don't fucking e-mail Richard Branson."

Christ, Lochte is like a dry piece of toast that you find under your cupboard with a hearty coating of Cheerio dust and lint. He should be studied.

Or at least the total lack or small wildlife in Israel. I'm still not sure what all those cats eat.

No kidding. Part of what makes cats so attractive are those very scary teeth and claws that we learn to avoid by understanding what they want from us. Expecting that they won't use them when turned loose in nature is incredibly naive. They're killers. Killers that are willing to live with human companions in…

Yup. My kitty is an adorable, clumsy, goofy creature. However, this doesn't fool me - I've had many cats before, and they are deadly little suckers when it comes to birds, mice and whatnot. Our dog would run run run when he was off the leash at the dog park and saw rabbits, but he never caught one. In contrast, I've…

I love the notion of 'when is it an appropriate time to watch this?'. I mean, really. Seriously. The kid is not going to want to watch it. No one is going to want to watch it. It combines the tedium of wedding videos with the grossness, blood and gore of the Saw franchise. Do not want.

I don't get PMS but I am occasionally irritated during my period because bleeding from my crotch for about a week is irritating.

It's lazy as opposed to its lazy. Can't knock someone's vocabulary with poor grammar.

250 square feet with another person. Bless you.

Be careful, Arya. He might put you in the friendzone. Trust me. It supersucks. Love, Ser Jorah.

there comes a point where tacky goes so far around the bend that it becomes glorious, and this dress does just that.

Oh great, and now to the list of things to tell my children in the future, I have to add "If someone finds my Facebook link and threatens to send nudie pics of you to me, don't worry, it's not you I will be mad at." My future sex ed talks are getting weirder and more complicated by the day. Thanks again Republicans!

Do we have a troll patrol anymore? How do I report a disgusting human being?

I always thought it was master as in master of the house. ... doling out the charm, ready with a handshake and an open palm...

I'd send the response card back. I'd send it back with "HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK NO" written on it. I'd take a bite out of the corner and write "OMG, sorry! SO HUNGRY!" below it. Then I'd draw a dick on it. Because I'm mature.

My 5 year-old often complains that we should replace our 14 year old dog with a fresh new puppy. I tell her I'll do that if she doesn't mind being replaced with a fresh new toddler.

This is how it works:

Holy crap- really? That is shockingly rude behaviour. I am not a parent- I don't get to say anything to anybody who created a child how they should raise that child. I guess I just wonder when it became okay to get your nose all up in other peoples business. Like- you don't have enough shit in your life that you have…