actually its really really really easy.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

Satellite launches are heavily insured for this exact reason.

My oldest daughter is T.N.T. she’s 12 and thinks it’s awesome.

Tentacruel is a perfectly lovely name for a girl.

Jennifer and Alex! (Sorry I just like guessing.)

I live a mile away from what has to be the most incredible Cinemark theatre in the country. I told both my kids to never give that company money again. Is the company responsible for what happened? Hell no. Are they responsible for how they reacted to lawsuits from shell shocked and grieving families? You bet. It’s…

I don’t think this necessarily offers hope for humanity, but I wouldn’t say it’s just basic decency for a guy who went to the school expecting to be fawned over by excited kids to instead sit down with a lonely, awkward boy who probably didn’t even know who he was.

Glad you made the jump to Deadspin.

Great!

Now Trump can finally try an authentic taco bowl11!1

I’ve seen this three times today, and it hasn’t stopped being funny. “You should look it up” gets me every single time.

Tony Stewart tried it yesterday and twitter gathered him up real quick

Couldn’t agree more. The American flag and national anthem stands for all those people who died at Normandy or Tripoli so that Ben Roethlisberger could play football.

Trump’s reaction tells me that he has repeated ever scintilla of classified information he was given to every single person in his family.

Hey - not being thick at all and I’m happy to share information with you.

The baby will just be crying for those ten minutes, nonstop. A baby’s needs and its wants are the same thing. Crying is their only form of communication, and they don’t understand waiting because they don’t understand time. So the baby won't starve, but you can't explain that to him, because he's a baby.

Why eat anything but Soylent? Why leave the house? Why get a job? Why have friends? Why laugh? Why smile?

I do the same thing, except I mix the yolks and filling in a bowl first ... which seems stupid now that I realize that’s an unnecessary step. Thanks!

“Shrill” means “Spoken by a woman who is daring to challenge a man”