Last Saturday night I was in a small-town bar (actually really cool; owned by a lesbian couple with a big Pride flag flying outside), and I was subjected to this song for the first time on the Internet-powered jukebox. It is...awful. It doesn’t sound any different from any other dime-a-dozen country pop song out…

‘Eternals was an abominably slow slog and for something that was supposed to be the Next Big Thing for the MCU just sort of faded away like an embarrassing, wet fart but I liked how they did super-speed there too’

God, MTG is fucking gross. There isn’t a redeemable cell in her body.

“...a lot of us in this country don’t agree on how we get back to a sense of normalcy where we go at least a day without a headline that keeps us up at night.”

You sound like a person to avoid at parties.

Must be fun living in your own reality.

So nice of them to show us basically the entire movie in that trailer. I don’t need to see it now!

Oh no

Let’s start counting the days until this fucking thing is destroyed by an extreme weather event...

Two billionaire douchebags enter!

Taking frustration with anyone ‘to an extreme’ does not involve video games. I could give examples of how one could take frustration with Elon Musk to an actual extreme, but they would put me on watch lists.

Here’s a question: if he needed to know that his messages were intended to intimidate in order to be prosecuted for them, and he claims he didn’t know that, then what does that say about his state of mental health? (I mean, obviously he’s a whackadoo looney, but hear me out) How can any sane person look at what he…

Oh no

You improve nothing by your presence.

‘Twitter sent us a poop emoji when we reached out.’

Here, let me rewrite that headline for you, you fuckin’ hack:

Well, I mean...sure, for a given value of ‘comedy.’

‘Good’

I LIVED Transformers when I was a kid in the 80s. Running around with my friends, pretending to turn into cars bugs and dinosaurs, the toys were awesome, I couldn’t get enough.

It’ll be fun to see how much he pads the runtime of this one with his overused ultra-slow-motion photography.