‘Like a lot of what we hear [coming out of our own mouths here on Fox News], that’s a lie.’

I’ve never read any TMNT comics nor watched any of the animated cartoon. My experiences with the franchise were solely via the first movie and the super-fun arcade game, and I loved both to death as a kid. TMNT deserves to be a part of this column!

I stared at the dissonant phrase ‘late night Netflix series’ for far too long. How can a show launched on a streaming service lay claim to a time of day?

‘...for the whole thing you’ll have to be an Apple Music subscriber.’

‘...I feel like things are crystal clear to me, so I’m going to be clearer.’

I mentally replaced Oscar Isaac with myself and discovered an entire new kink.

I dunno. I avoid movies like this.

Saw this movie yesterday. My expectations weren’t that high, but I still came away incredibly disappointed. There were nuggets of decent ideas, but none were fully fleshed out. The action was good, at least. Barely a plot and no characters I cared about, not even the leads. Mako Mori’s fate was goddamned cheap, too.…

Thank you, Freak Masterstroke!

Traum-Com.

Is the sick/dying person in the love story EVER the man?

Maybe the Wayans brothers should make a Sick Movie franchise. Keep all the silly romantic beats but really dial up the grossness of the illness to eleven.

You’re goddamned right I ordered one of those books immediately. Not from Amazon, though; fuck Jeff Bezos.

Iron Man’s latest suit has sexy high heels.

I did my part; saw it thrice in theaters.

“Soylent Red is Conservatives!”

When The Dark Crystal hit theaters in 1982 I was eight years old. My dad wouldn’t take me to it because it was, in his words, ‘too gory.’ I had to learn what ‘gory’ meant. When I finally got around to seeing it on VHS I found it thrilling and amazing, but FAR from gory. To this day I’m sorry I never saw it in theaters.

I cannot WAIT for Anthem to be ruined by preorder/microtransaction/DLC nonsense. The inevitable Jim Fucking Sterling Son takedown will be delicious. *finger kiss*

How’s that Trump vote workin’ out for ya then?

Ever since the move to this new platform, the quality of the site and the community have plummeted. The comments on this story are the straw that broke my back. Too many ads, too many stories I don’t care about and the things I do care about are nothing I can’t get elsewhere. Too many self-important jerks just looking…