What about libraries? Oh right...georgia

Nah, homeboy will end up landscaping for an uncle and killing off a 12-pack a night until cirrhosis ends him, while homegirl will end up failing at being a tattoo artist and selling LuLaRoe after having married an abusive jarhead.

Dr. Scholl told everyone to get out and walk more but it seems self-serving.

I’m so excited!  I’m so excited!  I’m so....scared!!!!!

Lesson learned: we must be Better than Ezra

hope she sees this bro

If these two narcissistic assholes and everyone in their inner circles went on live television and burst into flame, the world would rejoice, Trump and his entire terrorist cabal would be in prison where they belong, the coronavirus would die on the way back to its home planet, and best of all, we’d never have to hear…

Are we allowed to not like either of them, for different reasons?

They have 2 million Spotify fans and 2.6 million Pandora fans, you fat nerd who gets dunked in trash cans!

*quietly slips ArgieBargie $5*

I hope your butt’s a good one!  

kill yourself

Death didn’t come for Kirk Douglas. Kirk Douglas decided it was time that Death quit hiding from him.

Fuck you, buddy.

Unlike the rest of you posers, I’ve ignored Pete Davidson for his entire career.

Good for Pete Davidson! It’s about time he stood up to people coming to see his shows! I, for one, will help him out by not going to them. Take that, audiences!

Yeah, they stink on ice.

Aren’t most of these awards bullshit anyway, just like with all award shows.

A lot of words just to tell everyone what a fucking asshole you are.

Here today, gone Trevorrow.