Were you in your jammies, eating Apple Jacks out of the box? Me too.

Raging morning wood.

Yes, but who in their right mind actually watches an entire porno feature all the way through in one sitting? Who but a very committed, devoted, emphatic aficionado of the art form, that's who.

Flame thrower breath, activate!

This movie will rise from it's radioactive den deep within the dank, musty bowels of Hollywood and stomp flat all the competition at the box office, like so many helpless, puny, inconsequential bugs. Then it will take a nice nap.

C'mon man, nobody believes your bullshit. Admit it, you're watching The Man Who Wasn't There right now, aren't you? Of course you are, you lovable scamp.

You're not even out yet!! Uh, what are we talkin' about?

Organic orgasms, or GTFO.

He's always strokin' out.

Bob's Burgers!! Where da fuck izzit?

The lighting really is superb.

Acting!!

Thinking!? There's no thinking in snarky commentary. It's all just '"shoot from the crotch" and pray you don't get any on yourself.

Your personal boundary issues are compromising your satirical musings. Or so my fecalist tells me.

Portlandia is indubitably, unquestionably, unconscionably the absolute finest, most worthwhile TV program which I never watch. I suppose - like most other evolved, sophisticated, insufferable hipsters - I get off on withholding my attention from those people and things which I most desire.

Garrison Keillor heartily agrees.

Asshole.

Where's you manners? You forgot to say thank you.

I'm starting to believe that old rumor that John Denver killed a whore in Reno just to watch her die.

Quality film acting is such a subjective, vague aspect to delineate. There are many technically terrible actors who are very popular and successful more so because they have a compelling, irresistible screen presence. They give good camera face. Uma Thurman comes to mind. She is a nearly incompetent thespian, almost…