I think you're just feeling the pressure of finding yourself among a group - a community - of devoted aficionados of genuine, sincere, pertinent, relevant, original comedic creativity, and you're realizing that you may not be ideally suited to this particular environment. The train for Jeff Dunhamville leaves in 5…

Um, you have an opinion, and, um, it's yours, and well, um, I suppose, um, you're entitled to it, but, um…

Nuthin' gits past you.

That's your prerogative. Hope that strategy pays off for ya.

OK, I was citing various stats to point out that the average car, which of course can travel over 81 mph, is most often operating at safer speeds and not the source of the rise in traffic deaths. The reason highway deaths rose at all was from very high speed crashes, and the bulk of very high speed crashes involved…

Don't Have Lice.

Only a mindless drone could forget booze!

The emotional cost of getting caught behind a customer who is having trouble with the self checkout scanner is just too high. It's a fate worse than death.

…as I gaze up into the darkening evening sky, the bustling swarms of dutiful drones delivering their warmly glowing radioactive cargoes, like precision coordinated fireflies, so very quietly…

I usually order an accompanying supply of Ruffies and Molly (ecstasy). Puts 'em in that lovin' mood.

There's no good reason that they can't warehouse the brides-to-be at the now-empty brick 'n mortar stores all over the country. Some bunk beds and a phonograph player, and they'll be fine.

If Mike Wallace had done the story eventually he would have just flat out asked Bezos if he's out of his motherfucking crazy ass mind.

Your comment's funny because it suggests people will still be able to read.

This. This is a delightful mental image.

What's funny to me is that the very day that Amazon puts their multibillion dollar delivery drone project in service some geek in his mom's basement is gonna invent the world's first functioning transporter beam, and instantly Amazon will be obsolete. Hysterical.

What's wrong for Amazon is perfectly correct, according to my master plan. Muah, ha ha…

I've got Anita Bryant on the phone, as you requested.

Yeah, those drones will wear Yarmulkes and Hijabs.

What's the rush-ian?

Exciting if the drones actually kill people, terrifying if they don't.