Why is she even in college? If I had millions of dollars, I would get a small studio apartment in an interesting city, adopt a cat, and volunteer for the rest of my life.

The vast majority of college students did not lie on their SATs and such. You’re nixing valid applications from smart people and... accepting applications from less qualified people. In turn, you’re making the government worse than it already is. You should do some serious soul-searching.

You should really try learning. Here’s one entertaining way to start:

You gotta hear this guy’s history, though.  He’s been manufacturing fake controversies for a long while.  (He accused Mueller of sexual assault, etc.)  He also claims to have a diploma from Harvard, but he never even attended.  It goes on and on.  You’re missing context.

There’s already a “JusticeForLori” hashtag? That was quick! She’s already a victim while she hops from country to country avoiding her arrest.

Even with all the bullshit in the news (and bullshit proven in courts), there are still a surprising number of influential people with the belief that an arrest is essentially like a conviction. Bosses should know by now that mistakes happen every day.

That’s one impression.  I think she’s a 15-year old girl rocking a cute pixie cut.

Did you read that long list of tweets?  How in the hell do you feel bad for the kids?  I’m left wondering which of them deserve their high school diplomas.

Late 1990s twink me absolutely would’ve blown Romney in his 50s.

They aren’t investigative journalists.  They comment on the media.  This website is one step removed from what you’re looking for.  Instead of blaming “leftists,” you should get help from a teacher or a librarian.

You, random anonymous blogger, are vastly smarter than the president of the United States. No offense, but that should give you some concern.

That’ll never happen.  He writes like a sixth grader.  Many people have noticed, as you know, that there are many examples of things happening all the time in many industries, for example, as you know.

If his presidency doesn’t make you a little bit depressed, you might be a sociopath. Historians of the future will look back on us harshly.

A child can tell Yale, “I’m on your soccer team,” and Yale... doesn’t ask the soccer coach?

Rapist Keeps Job As Cop.

I worked for an ancient man who got angry that his computer’s keyboard didn’t have a “return” key like typewriters used to. I explained that the “enter” key would do the same job. He started ranting about how he didn’t “want to enter anything” and how he just wanted “to return to the start of the line.” He was…

Who is she to be devising plans of any kind?  She’s a reality TV character who put her name on someone else’s jewelry.  She’s never accomplished anything.  The confidence is baffling.

She probably assumed Julie was a highly paid sex worker, purchased via the internet.  “Aren’t we all?”

The 60,000 reviewers who instantaneously teleported to the mall and back are not sincerely considering the merits.  Totally invalid.

No, it’s not the commenters.  The authors at Jezebel use that language casually.  They’re reclaiming it, but they’re not gay men.  No apologies ever.  These are the moments when we realize we’re not reading news, they’re not journalists, we’re just reading blogs by randos.