Solidarity forever,

We do (as noted), and we do get demolished in it, because Mexico and the CONCACAF Champions League are both on the FIFA calendar. That puts the later rounds of the CCL at the same time as MLS preseason, meaning that MLS clubs are routinely eviscerated by Liga MX clubs each year.

In 100 years after climate change has finally re-written the rules of earthly existence, maybe then we’ll be great at soccer.

As a penis owner, I fail to understand how one can actually pleasure oneself using a piece of cheap old corroded metal covered in road grime and carbon deposits without reducing one’s gentleman sausage to a lacerated, profusely bleeding mess. While maintaining an erection.

Leave it to an abuser to not handle getting beat.

After beating the living shit out of four clubbers in the bathroom, Nick went on to infect several Vegas hookers with his other signature move, the Stockton Clap.

So Lochte basically told the Cartman version of the story

Or Steven A?

Wilbon once was pretty good. Then he became the “mouthpiece” for Chicago, and really lost touch with how fans feel. I hold out hope for a comeback from Wilbon (I mean a comeback to not sucking). Stephen A and Berman need to both go live somewhere where I never have to hear them talk again.

I can’t aim worth shit, so this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

I feel the same way when I watch Cops.

If this was Jezebel, the title would’ve been “Entitled White Male Harasses Chinese Woman Online, Gets What He Deserves.”

Zarya is probably be the only Russian athlete in the Olympics then.

I have been commenting about the poor (i.e. nonexistant) copy editing on Gawker since, like, 2007.

Prince Harry: All it takes is a small prick. But Prince Andrew had another engagement so I’m here in his stead.

Soooo much loathing for Max Landis in my heart. Real story: when I saw Mr. Right and actually enjoyed it, I jumped onto Max Landis’ twitter feed to see if maybe, just maybe, he had become less of a tool. The short answer is “no.” The long answer is “no, and he likely never will.”

I’m not sure it was really necessary to refer to the Cuban-born Sabates as a “minority” in this racist headline.

I bet on a beautiful sleigh bed with silken sheets and a cooling, temperpedic mattress so she can sit up in bed in the evenings to watch the news.

Perhaps these micro chips could even give a precise reading of the air pressure, lest we end up with some never-ending issue regarding differences in air pressure. But alas, I fear that is but a pipe dream