Now I know what it would take to get me to sit through an episode of SNL..

This is the best news I’ve heard in a very long time! Wrap It Up has also become a staple for me and my loved ones. Love Dave Chappelle!

Fuck yeah!

Jesus this is depressing

I was at Penn at the same time as Melker. Donnie was indeed a sad sack of a human being who peed everywhere and assaulted everyone. He belonged to the most rape-y of rape-y fraternities and comfortably communicated with his asshat brothers in the misogynist language of his father and...he just sucked. He really did…

Donald Trump slapped his second-most slappable son, who was wearing a Yankees shirt at the time?

Do I believe they called him “Diaper Don?”

To be fair, it was a different era. In 1998, urinating in other people’s beds wasn’t as big of a deal as it is today.

I think I found the UC’s response:

My cat Colin is no stranger to meeting famous people, recently, he spoke at an Annual Navy Event he was in high spirits:

My fiance sat with me and watched TWO HOURS of this bullshit just so we could see this performance (he’s a cable cord cutter). This solidifies that I made the right decision by accepting his proposal.

I just spent about 30 seconds enjoying watching my toothless slobbering spawn try to gum a french fry. It’s Halloween, let him live.

My dog absolutely is my baby.

I had to get a special doula when I have birth to my cat, one who wouldn’t judge me for rolling the placenta up and smoking it in a joint.

PUPPER PARTY

My fur baby who is very patiently awaiting the pending arrival of her non furry two legged sibling.

The double standard perfectly illustrated in three tweets. Amazing. And he clearly sees no contradiction whatsoever.

That actually makes a lot of sense.

Here’s my theory on the Olsens and their taste for older men: Men closer to their own ages have all this baggage from growing up with them on tv. Full House and the Olsen twins barely registered for those of us over a certain age (say 50), so they can date men that age and there’s no icky “I had a crush on you or…