One thing I can control is the amount of donuts I will eat in response to this sad as hell post.

So he thinks he was ok in this???

Newt was proud of this! He tweeted about it! We live in an upside down world.

Still my fav!

I hope this wasn’t Jared from Subway becaus, y’know, (awkward collar tug)

I bet Reince really wishes he was a wizard now . . .

I’m assuming “raisin d’être” is a typo, and it’s possibly my favorite typo ever. I’m imagining Cindy walking around with a California Raisin reciting affirmations and shit-talking her friends.

Fundraising requires actual work and adhering to a schedule. I can see why Trump’s attention faded several months ago.

I trusted you from the beginning of your comment. Five paragraphs later, you repaid that trust, with interest.

My former friend Cindy (and she’s former because of what you’re about to read) planned her whole life around getting married. That was her raisin d’être. 😁

It’s always been a con. When he loses the election he can declare bankruptcy and retire with all the campaign contributions and sell MAGA gear at MMA shows.

I love Episodes! Not so much for Matt Leblanc, but for the British couple. Is it coming back? Or...

“Yup, He’s Gray Now!”

So how can he have a plan if no one told him life was gonna be this way?

“Plancelled.”

My cousin’s second husband was abusing one of her daughters for YEARS and she had no clue. With hindsight, he was also sniffing around my daughter and she and I just thought it was social awkwardness. It’s actually fairly common for people close to a pedophile to not have a clue what they are.

I know nothing about DJ Khaled, or his music except for the one time he got lost on a jet ski.

He also played the adhan (the Muslim call to prayer) and the Quran. Its tradition for the parent to whisper the call to prayer into the ears of a newborn, the call being the first thing they should hear. I thought that he did that was sweet in all his contradictoriness.

He’s so over the top lol, but he cried and it was sweet. Probably already has the baby’s footprint tatted on him. He got the doctor to put the print on his arm last night.

I mean, it’s ridiculous, but his fiancee seems to be absolutely supportive of him and vice versa. I watched his Snap last night and, while I definitely cackled when his music started playing, it actually was super sweet. I teared up by how scared, proud, and supportive he was.