I didn't know her. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't really know how to approach it with her. I think I said some guilt-inducing stuff trying to guilt him into telling her himself. But how do you butt into someone's life like that when you don't even know them a little bit? I definitely regret that. I wish I'd just…

... and you do not see how that is a fucked up way to behave?

Doesn't anybody ever just say, "hello dear, I'm having some doubts about our relationship, can we talk about this"? Anymore? No? Just jump straight to the retaliation-cheating, huh?

Yeah, we weren't exclusive, but apparently he and the other girl WERE. Apparently they'd been seeing each other for years and were living together. I actually wasn't that mad on my own behalf, because as you say, we weren't exclusive, but to find out that I was a side piece from the beginning and that he had been…

Oh yeah, Shitbag's real name was Scott. On the (very) off chance that you know him and connect the dots from this story, you should judge him and revile his friendship. <3

That's the thing that gets to me about my cheater story too! The elaborate, carefully thought out plots and schemes to keep his secrets. I just can't imagine being that willfully dishonest for that length of time, unless you were a complete and utter sociopath.

Let me regale you with the tale of an ex of mine who I will heretofore refer to as Shitbag.

Shitbag and I dated for about 6 months, fairly casually. His work shuttled him back and forth between Ottawa and Montreal, so he was only in town about half the time, which kept us from getting too serious. Plus, not long after…

...and I was just continuing the discussion and trying to figure out what you were saying. Sheesh. Sensitive much?

I have read into the case, and I think it's a bit of a leap to imply that Hulme becoming a successful writer later in her life is any indication that she wasn't suffering from mental illness at the time. Mental illness is no indicator of talent, intelligence, or lack thereof.

I don't really have an opinion about…

This is a very sensible and humane policy.

True story:

Unusual, but not unheard of. The Hulme/Parker murder, in the 50s in New Zealand, was a similar case. These two girls lived in a completely detached fantasy land, and plotted to murder one of the girls' mothers for months. They sent messages to each other using their fantasy names and a whole cast of invented…

Look, all that I've said, repeatedly, is to stop being a dick to people for making different choices. Walking out your door in the morning is a risk; we are in constant balance of what risks we are willing to take versus the positive it can do in our lives. We all have our own boundaries and comfort zones in that…

Sure, there are incredible things that are both safe and legal. And a lot of things that are not. Those are the things he will miss out on. There is nothing ambiguous in my wording if you read it carefully.

Gosh, I'll get right on caring about that.

That's true, but she's like 5 and she's learning about death for the first time! That's not an insufficient reason!

Yeah, that was my reaction too. Just because she's young and cute doesn't make this any less upsetting for her.

So when are you heading out to starve yourself and wander vulnerably through the wilderness? Sounds like you've got it all figured out there.

Hey, tell you what. Don't call my willingness to take small risks for the sake of exhilirating experiences stupid, and I won't call your inability to move past what was mindlessly recited to you in 7th grade health class cowardly and pathetic. Deal?

That's true. We've got lots of great artists up here. Americans just help themselves to the shitty ones.

OH MY GOD LOOK HOW SLEEPY THAT BABY IS.