I’m pretty sure Taylor Swift’s heart belongs to Taylor Swift. She’s the love of her own life, Narcissus-style.

We should probably re-visit this every week with updated images, just to make sure we’ve got a good handle on the situation.

They do have a well documented history of corruption. That is a fact. But then so do American police. Also, a fact.

good. this makes me happy. there should be some consequences for this bullshit.

That was 100% written by a lawyer, a publicist or both.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

Well, Lochte might not be a good representative of America, but at least he’s an accurate one.

This. If the only reasons that the Rio authorities have for seizing passports and pulling people off planes is that there were some inconsistencies in drunken eyewitness accounts, and that the group of said drunken individuals weren’t sufficiently traumatized by their ordeal, then, well....that would fit in very…

Ryan: “Mom can I have some more money?”
Mom: “What happened to all that money I gave you yesterday?”
Ryan: “I uh, spent it on hookers and dru...uuuuhhhh....we got robbed! By cops! They had guns!”
Mom: “OH MY GAWD RYAN! I’M CALLING THE FBI!”
Ryan: “Mom wait no...” [CLICK]

To be fair, Lochte probably doesn’t know the difference.

I think we should be more worried about this 4th swimmer who is attempting to swim all the way home

As bufuddling as this is I have to remember that Lochte, while not the brightest bulb while sober, was drunk with his pals that night. Not an optimal condition for remembering details, especially for our dog paddling human Labradoodle. Watching the video the guys aren’t laughing, but Lochte slaps one guy with his…

I agree with you. I believe her. I think he did it. I think he’s a drunk and gross. I also think she is gross. It’s possible to hold both two thoughts in our minds same time.

And for those of you misinterpreting my comment: I was in no way disparaging a victim of abuse, nor was I trying to silence one.

The “get Elon Musk to marry me” fund.

Dear Amber and Johnny,

Chad for The Bachelor! Chad for The Bachelor!

You can fuck right off with that bullshit.

You hated her on Better Off Ted? I loved that show and was sad when they cancelled it.

They just did a wonderful miniseries about her rise to power in Russia. I loved it. It’s a shame that it’s not accessible to a wider audience.