1. Mix one part awesomely suspenseful trailer and 9 parts bald eagle fucking patriot porn and sprinkle in some casual racism.

Hot dudes and guns! SO Murica!

How so? Please explain why posting on Jezebel means I need to be so open-minded and inclusive and hippie-dippy warm and fuzzy tolerant of everything ever that my brain falls out.

Thanks. This is seriously making me angry. Nonbinary people don't want to choose? Okay, let them opt out or use M. as a title. For the other 98%+ of the population — who are, after all, giving this program enormous amounts of time and money and getting autogenerated correspondence in return — give us the dignity of a…

"We don't want to offend one person, so we're going to offend everyone else in the program!"

I tried to give it back, he wouldn't take it, so it sat in my drawer for years. We still see each other every few years, so I later offered it back to him a second time around and he took it, I think more as a favor to me than anything else.

Isn't it fun when people call you names for just being? Great piece.

I wonder if he taps tall people on the shoulder and goes, "Excuse me, sir, could you please stop being so tall? I am TRYING to SEE." (I wish I could do that sometimes.)

My friend gave the ring back to her (abusive) ex-fiance. He used the same ring a year later to propose to his new fiance. The ring had been engraved with their first initials and, since fiance No.2's name begins with the same letter, that sure worked out well for him.

As someone who is very short (4'11"), I understand the pain of sitting behind someone who is tall, has big hair, etc etc. However, it would not IN MY WILDEST DREAMS occur to me to ask said person to slouch, change their hair, or do something else of that nature. Nor would I call them disgusting. Yeah, I'll silently…

If this man complains about your hair, I'd love to hear what he says about the ridiculous middle age white lady bouffant updos you see in Texas. (Probably nothing, because he's a racist asshole.)

The engagement ended. What did you do with the ring?

There are two wonderful things happening here in this story:

if this shit is frumpy i'll kill everyone.

This is pretty savvy marketing. Because anyone that has 2,000 friends on Facebook never leaves the house.

This reminds me, I should go through and delete some more friends...

[slowclap.gif]

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.