i got a No-Prize from Larry Hama, so i'm not sweatin' it either. (drunkenly swishes his drink around.)

so there's a Garfield strip about Jon's new girlfriend freaking out her parents when she reveals she's dating a -GASP!- cartoonist.

this is a bridge too far - as a fan of Garfield, you are truly hopeless.

yeah, but did you sick them all up in a urinal and get literally tossed out onto the rain-soaked pavement like my ex-brother-in-law once did? because that shit was hilarious - especially the part where he's laying there and kinda belligerently yells WHAT THE HELLD YAH DO THAT FOR? at the bouncer, who then pointed out…

everything i'm about to say should be understood to come stamped with one of those warning labels on the bottle about how THESE RESULTS ARE NOT TYPICAL AND MAY VARY FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL USER, as if the pills were actual magic beans rather than, y'know, medicine or something.

as one of those grumpy, cynical, shitty people, all i can tell you is that, sometimes, even we luck into meeting absolutely wonderful people who love us despite our many, many flaws.

i always say there are three perfect video game "bad guys" no one will ever feel guilty about mowing down with the most awe-inspiring and graphically violent attacks imaginable: zombies, xenomorphs and Nazis.

i'm not saying you're wrong and i'm certainly not some crotchety old fuck piping up to bloviate how everything back in my day was better but i'd be really curious to know how people who enjoyed Superior Foes of Spider-Man thought it compared with other well-regarded runs of the past, stuff like the Giffen-DeMattis…

cue the conspiracy theory about how this is all a corporate ploy to limit the ability of chris evans to hold out for more money or something, similar to how all the Inhumans stuff was just a way to work around selling off the movie rights for the X-Men franchise.

it's also worth pointing out how the original contract between DC and alan moore/ dave gibbons stipulated the rights to WATCHMEN would revert to the two creators once it was no longer in print, which was revolutionary at the time before trade paperbacks - this wasn't a standard work-for-hire contract. the fact DC…

you could always just rip the head off, same way people do for shrimp or other shellfish.

we had a similar discussion once, when buttered coffee was first becoming a thing, to try to figure out if there were many foods not improved by butter.

this dude* i went to school with while i was studying historic preservation was telling a group of us about how he went on this cross-country roadtrip with his buds from back home once and they're driving through the middle of nowhere one night when he's awoken from sleep by the motion of the vehicle. he looks over…

weird. i always pictured Mr. Nancy as looking like an old-assed Spike Lee, but with the voice of Redd Foxx. (although Redd Foxx himself would have been just right.)

OWNAGE

…wasn't that Charlton Heston?

i kinda liked the chili before i realized the meat was just crumbled up hamburger patties that, presumably, had been prepared ahead of time but never sold.

last fall, i got married (for the second time) to a lovely lady several years my junior. we'd been together for more than six years at that point and had been living together for the last five, so we had no interest in asking for new plates or a copper cooking set or any of the other stuff most couples register for -…

i've read it twice now and think it was pretty great, epilogue and all.

second only to Pancakes in my personal list of fave Hellboy stories.