THA SPIIIIIIIICE!

you can actually get pretty decent cheese at Aldi. and their soymilk prices are really low. and the fake girl scout cookies are twice as good for 1/4 the price! plus they even sell beer and wine now.

not just anyone can pull off a wild, untamed mullet as glorious as that of the little ginger riding bitch.

CHANCE: You are infested with bedbugs! Lose a turn while you launder all your belongings and endure the judgmental disapproval of others.

tell it to the neckbeards, man - they and their bikes love that shit.

*catches 12-sided dice and throws it back at you, hitting you in the forehead and causing you to topple over with a dumb look on your face*

and where you can also use the railroads to either ship takers to camps OR escape to Galt's Gulch if you're A Real American! because railroads are still the main artery of commerce, or some shit like that…

all… those people… have to live somewhere, don't they?

oooh, i wanna be internet porn!

that's so crazy i can't even work up the outrage to shout at you to shut your whore mouth.

time to turn in the recycling and go donate plasma - a dude is going to try to charge you $22 to buy it back. (you may or may not be able to talk him down to $17…)

holy shit, if that didn't kill the franchise i don't know what can. i mean, christ: he was in his mid-40s during the first book - some people get worn out as they age!

see, i was kinda expecting more from this show and Hannibal on the DVDs - it just seems like a Making Of feature on the work and design that goes into the costuming and look of the series would have been a natural. some real depth, not just "Oh, anything looks good on Mads… and Bryan Fuller likes plaid suits."

i put the DVDs on hold at my local library. not ideal for "keeping up with The Conversation" but totally free. i guess you have to set aside time for 10+ hours of TV (they split the seasons into two halves for the DVD release, too) before the discs are back at the library in 7 days but, honestly, that just gives me a…

there's occasional man-butt, but the only cock on offer is evil rapist-dong, which just seems inconsiderate.

if by "beautiful Scottish landscapes" you mean "the guy who plays Jamie, with his shirt off" then yes, i can see how that would enthrall someone. i'm a dude that likes the ladies but even i can admit that guy is, like, stupidly hot.

naw, man - OPRAH as Amanda Waller.

it is! but it's technically a stealth mashup of Cruel Intentions and Driver, since Ry-P is the Dollar General version of The Gos - it's basically the same product and your guests will never taste the difference, as long as you serve it under dim lighting and make sure to bury the packaging deep in the wastebasket…

that isn't really Marky Mark - he didn't call anyone a fhawkin qweeah.

i really enjoyed the first book or three in this series but it got to the point where he was just a ridiculous cartoon muttering Semper Fi and learning how to be a samurai at age 65 or some shit. it's possible this could be done well but i'm not optimistic.