I just posted about this. We lived in rural Florida for 7 years and there were armadillos living all around our house who came out and frolicked around the yard at night. It was adorable but terrifying because LEPROSY.

PSA: Armadillos can carry the bacteria that causes leprosy, so don’t touch one should you happen upon a friendly example in the forest. I’m serious. Google ‘armadillo leprosy cases’ if you don’t believe me.

TRY PEELING THE CHICKPEAS FIRST.

Top Chef, for sure. I personally know someone who was a finalist, not even the fucking winner, just in the last three, and his career has gone INSANE. He’s rolling in cash and has tons of insane job offers and has gotten to travel everywhere and it’s changed his life completely. And he didn’t even win!

AHAH

I mean it’s really fucking unbelievable, isn’t it? “All the Mexicans are bad, except for OUR Mexican! He’s fine, but all the others must be degenerates!”

Here’s the thing: Being pregnant is actually the fucking worst. You feel like crap most of the time, your body changes in new and terrifying ways each day, and you’re constantly being poked and prodded and peeing into cups and having everyone tell you what you should be doing. I hated being pregnant! I never…

I unfriended AAAAALLLLL those people.

I’ve been cooking enormous elaborate meals and I’m proooobably developing an drinking problem!

I mean, the individual things that make up tapas are incredibly delicious, but as a fellow big eater, fuck tapas. I’m not about to go to a restaurant and try and cobble together an $80 dinner out of disparate tiny things. I say this as a Spanish person, btw.

I’m in Cleveland and it’s the same here. We hit a record high in the mid-70's today. Snowdrops and crocuses are in full bloom. Temps are supposed to drop a bit in the coming week, but not by much. It looks like spring is here.

How I Live Now is sort of a young-adult drama, but I really enjoyed it. I Am Not A Serial Killer is weird and creepy and absolutely fantastic. Christopher Lloyd is perfect in it, too.

I loved it, too. The actor who played the eldest son is wonderful, I’ve seen him in several other things and he’s always great. I particularly liked How I Live Now and I Am Not A Serial Killer.

GOD THANK YOU I FUCKING HATE MUSE.

Possibly Japandroids, although it was recommended to me by my brother, who is technically older but lives in LA and is much, much hipper than I ever was.

My husband loves this haircut and it’s a perpetual heartbreak to him that he has insanely curly hair and can’t pull it off.

My aunt has this enormous red couch from Arhaus that is seriously the most comfortable thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s wonderful. Highly recommend.

Okay, I’m married and I didn’t do any of those things. My husband and I BOTH wear rings, it’s not as if he’s got a shackle around my finger while wearing nothing himself. I didn’t wear white, my father didn’t give me away, I didn’t change my name. We lived together for 7 years and had a kid before finally getting…

That’s where she totally lost me. Also: SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS A THING, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

My mom had me when she was really young, and she and my dad split when I was still a baby. He lived several states away and was a non-contributing jackass, and my mom never finished college and has some untreated mental issues that make it difficult for her to hold a decent job. Therefore, we lived with my…