As a guitarist, I can’t think of a more influential player. He owned the 80s and had a million flashy, tapping impersonators, leading Frank Zappa saying they need to go to “notes anonymous.”

A ‘ciggie”? You’re not ... Australian, are you?

I preferred ‘Poo Cocktail’ in its original, grainy form. It was Art, you see. Who are these cultural revisionists, telling us this version’s “better quality”? Next thing, The Godfather will have no pants.

Choose Your Own Adventure, right here, at The AV Club.

Not that I want to, but can you say it here?

Trump is filibuster, whether he’s “at work”, or not. Imagine ... Gawd, eating with him.

Or an Australian fast bowler. In the 1970s.

Well done, Tampax.

Doesn’t he want to buy Greenland? Jesus. I think I’ll just “buy” America. It should be going cheap, right now, and I need a carpark.

Malarkey was a Geelong player, and a pretty decent one. Trump plays for Collingwood - Do with that what you will.

I wasted more words on the same sentiment. Well done. The man is utterly (apply your own adjective/expletive)

Swearing in headlines is perfectly justified, when speaking of the exception : Donald Fucking Cunt; a fat guy who figures that, he can’t survive 4 More Years of fried chicken, nobody should ... He used to amuse my black sense of humour. Then he got elected ... Now, he makes me sick. And I’m Australian. Could Trump…

Legal impunity is the only reason This Regretting Egomaniac (tm.) wants to stay in office ... Once he’s out, the knives will be, too. He should have just remained a lying self-promoter; but unlike those who have far more, and think he’s a garish dick, he just couldn’t keep That Head (tm.) down.

... And that, finally, is The News. But he’ll do it with fried chicken, and nobody gets the satisfaction they got from Hitler’s Cyanide. Cyanide doesn’t come with secret herbs and spices. Cyanide’s an honest junk food.

He gets to be “smug”. He’s objective, which, post-social media (yes, I get it), is out of fashion. Which makes objectivity alternatively “cool” ... (What a crock).

Maher’s too certain to be a Libertarian. Besides, a Trump Government (tm.), is Massively Obese (tm).

The point is that ‘The US’ is too identity-riddled to understand anything about itself ... Go back to making pinball machines. Pinball machines were honest about how you lose.

... So The Av Club pays more for anodyne opinion pieces than The Fucking Guardian? Jesus, get a paper round, Trumpist.

Marine biologist? Comedian?... What the hell does Kramer do?

True Stories defined the way I viewed everything for about 6 confusing months: