I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

Ray Lewis is a murderer.  Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Nagy was more pissed that when Long threw the helmet, it bounced off both uprights. 

“I’m squeezing and waiting for help.”

Small Little Bone was the worst rapper in Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony don’t @ me. 

Like a restrictor plate race, she ate the wings very fast and 3 at a time.

It’s even better if you mix up the letters. ‘This Nate Peterman Is Growing On Me’ in an anagram for ‘Warmongering Penis Neath Some Tit’

This sounds like a BattleBots entrance where he dropped the cards and tried to do it from memory.

Are heterosexuals in sex jail? Because that flag represents sex jail. And not the sexy kind of sex jail.

“My man on lock so hard, he got a deadbolt AND one of those sliding chain things. He got The Club in cars he don’t even own. He got a key card system, where if you lose your card you gotta go all the way to the front desk and put down a $5 deposit for a replacement! You lose that key and you don’t get your $5 back.…

For a man seemingly concerned about his financial future, he sure does spend a lot on pageantry  

The best part about this comment is the dude that took it seriously.

An indisputably correct take

My body redacted nothing for several days after eating Skyline.

Looks like a Camaro backed into a Pepboys.

i hope my kids never see the things i have starred here.

Say what you will, but Happy Gilmore has a record too. Only guy to ever take his skate off and try to stab a guy. A record is a record.