What NBC wants you to think Rio is like...

Solution: remove boxing as an olympic event. Replace it with brawling. You lose when you are unconscious or give up. No judging, no bribing.

Why your league sucks: The NFL.

For some reason I expected a love triangle to be part of the story and now I'm disappointed. This is like freshmen year roommate level of intrigue.

IOC spokesman (pictured); ‘ didn’t happen, everything’s fine.’

Too excited, went out like stink, died like a pig.

Deadspin is exhausting these few days with the senior week random crap and this weird Olympic negativity

This is awful news. John Saunders was great at his job.

C’mon, Deadspin! Where’s the spoiler alert?! Now I’ll have to feign surprise when I hear about this in five hours on NBC.

I see no problem with the underwater cameras, I see a problem with freaking out over seeing a woman’s nipple, especially in this context. They’re not sex objects, they’re athletes competing. This view gives a good look at a sport where a lot more happens under the surface of the water than the casual fan realizes.…

Only a fool fucks with Phelps when he’s in compete mode.

And fuck all this nonsense about him partying when he’s not swimming. That man has spent more time honing himself into the perfect swimmer than any of us have spent doing anything (including jerking off). He ought to have a life permit to party the fuck down…

Give them a break, it has to be difficult to plan for a regularly scheduled, annual event.

Well, that about wraps up the case, then! Good work, detective!

You can always tell when swimmers beef. Just look for the bubbles.

Very tough for Brazil, and now they find themselves between Iraq and a hard place.

Facts too uncomfortable for you? Sorry about that. Good luck with Jill Stein. Your protest vote will really show us!

The Trump campaign just released this video on its website in order to clarify their position on this important issue.

Are they going to yell POOOOOOOOP during the open water events?

It’s in the media village, so they clearly did their research and discovered zero is the number of condoms most reporters will need.

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…