*** followed by "...from Moose and Squirrel."

Always sourdough. And butter with a sprinkling of salt. OMG, I need that right now.

I particularly love the ending for #3... wasn't sure where it would go when they were getting "belligerently drunk", and was happily surprised at the sheer simplicity of it. I dunno, I just love it. That (drunken) release from "oh shit, fire!" to "ha ha, but he save(d the) bread!" :D

You sound crazier than he does.

Yick. I spoke to a very pretty, very muscled, much face dude from NOVA a few days ago on OKcupid. It turned out that he was army and worked for the Pentagon. We had this funny long discussion that he started about why some people might have made up ideas about you before you meet them. Looks, age, workout regimen, if…

Anyone else a little annoyed by this part from Acciardo, the spokesman from the sheriff's office?

Yes! And you find yourself going "nononoNONONO!" as it sends.

Don't you hate it when your device auto-corrects the second you have pressed send and you do not see the wrong-correction until it is disappearing?

Dude, my grandpa was a Cornelius. And yep, he went by Neil. That's a good old (ridiculous) Dutch name for ya.

Hey, there are some good Cornelii out there:

That's surprisingly close, just replace long walks on the beach with BDSM. and I'm a domme. that is so potentially dangerous to BOTH of us.

how does that even go?

This guy I was talking to a few states away started pushing the 'lets move in' button and needless to say, I started running after I saw how serious he was. Huge red flag.

If you go over to the sheriff's fb page you'll see that nobody seems to live in this county but meth chefs, and that this is kinda minor in the scheme of their general disintegration. Anytime you see this in the course of fb conversation, you know it's time to get your hat: "Shut the hell up April." That's never good.

It's telling you to get pregnant with a Greek God. Your mom has hacked your iPad.

someone needs to teach these kids how to use their words.

I certainly won't deny that it CAN go well—I mean people who don't speak the same language have managed to stay married for years, love is crazy, etc. but your emergency exit plan should not be "choke, throw food, walk down street with suitcases"

Who moves to be in a romantic relationship with someone and uproots their entire life without meeting that person in the flesh first. Seriously. I think this guy has some major issues.

Yikes. I mean it's really frustrating when that happens, for sure. But Uhhhh if you're at the point where you're ready to move in with the person don't you think the onus is on your if you don't get all pertinent information about the person before hand?

"Cornelius"