Cavendish has never been a GC contender. Ever. He is the purest of pure sprinters and always loses time in the mountains.

Wait...what?

Lake Flaccid

You know what else flexes?

This is such a ridiculous statement that I don't even know where to begin. Are you saying that scientists are so focused on their work that they can't...get a cup of coffee? Get groceries? Get a haircut? All of these things take minimal time, physical effort, and mental exertion. There's a massive difference between…

I was stuck in traffic on the way to Vegas last Friday and in 2 hours I saw about 30 cars pass on the shoulder. I was really hoping one of them would pull a move like this so we could all point and laugh.

False. Kerry Washington is incapable of looking anything but perfect.

Virgil the wrestler has a crew.

Pit bull puppy.

Starred for username/avatar/post cohesion.

Intel does the same thing with blue badges (Intel employees) and green badges (contractors). I think that's fairly universal.

You clearly don't know much about the world of cycling—why are you so determined to look down on those who take it seriously?

Not to be weird or anything, but look at his legs! I'm a fairly fit rider and he looks like he could kick my ass.

My wife and I share a Prius. The worst part about driving it is that everyone assumes I'm a smug asshole, when really my wife just wanted something that gets decent mileage and has room for the dog.

What do you call the metal structures you lock your bike up to?

Pompous cyclist hipsters? Just go into a bike shop and take a look. Kickstands are very, very uncommon on adult-sized bikes.

No, he's right. Your grammar is terrible.

My wife and I just did our first century together (her first, my fifth) last Sunday.

Great looking Colnago. Lugged carbon is best carbon.