I once got five beers for a quarter. It was my greatest coup. I think the guy was blind. Or dead. Or I was in Cleveland in 1974.

Holy shit I wish I'd seen that then.

Basically. He also once said in a drunken Rolling Stone interview that "soft rock, to me, is like soft cock. I don't got a soft cock. (pause) I got a hard cock. I'm as angry now as I was when I was twenty." This was… 1998 or so?

Someone once said you couldn't put Vic Morrow's death on John Landis' shoulders, and I said "Why not put it on Vic Morrow's? He's got room."

Hate his music, sure, think it ridiculous that he got such a light sentence for drunkenly driving his car into someone's living room (although it was in North Haven, so it was probably some equally rich guy's living room), but Billy Joel is an okay dude.

If the worst happens tomorrow, I'll miss you, scrap. Congrats on the book. Maybe I'll catch you on the AVOCADO or something.

Because there are other things to eat?

Well, you didn't include me in the brilliance brigade, but I forgive you. I've always liked your words, and anyone whose handle has Berryman's name in it is someone I can hang with.

Whaddaya got?

I'm protesting right now, actually.

Like Obama gives a shit what happens to any of us anymore. Not that I blame him. I don't, either.

I use Lyft to get home from the beer store. Or if I'm stranded somewhere downtown after the trains stop running.

We're gonna have to start cracking some fuckin' skulls, Dik.

I'll never tell you not to do that.

Coincidentally, 'Mayonaise' just came on XM as I sit here doing very boring shit.

No offense, E, but have you been to the Grand Opera House? It's a badass building. And the acoustics are ridiculous.

Probably depends on the vintage.

Plants drink water. I look like a fuckin' plant to you?

Oh, I wouldn't go to a meeting, are you mad?

"I put radio on the Internet!"