This is a classic methhead crime! My dad commutes between a lot of construction sites, so he knows pretty much every espresso stand and large grocery store in the Puget Sound region. He says that in/around Puyallup (no surprise there), all the public bathrooms have giant locks on the brass parts of the toilets because…

Bathrooms in fast-food places are straight up NASTY. There was one That I saw that had mold growing up the corner, and there were spiders. I noped the fuck out of there as soon as I saw.

JACQUELINE seems like the normal one? Have you. . . watched anything with Jacqueline ever? And her daughter? And her family?

Seriously what is the deal with Dina, Caroline and Jaqueline all fighting. Help me.

Random fact: When he was at the Post, Lloyd Grove's email address was "grovel."

Did she write anything about Connie Chung? I found her career arc interesting and i think the fact that the co-host stint on CBS News ultimately ended was more to do with Dan Rather than her. I don't think she was on Barbara Walter's level but at least according to Wikipedia she didn't have to many major stumbles or…

Katie Couric was constantly "almost late for work"? So, she was on time?

The wedding web site is great, because I don't have to worry about creating as many pieces of paper in the invitation, but writing up the bio is a challenge when things weren't quite "we met and have been dating ever since."

Now I have to tell the story of the time I took advantage of being home alone when I was 11 to belt "I Dreamed a Dream" in my bedroom. When I got to the big note, "So different now from what it seeeeeeeeemed!" my cat ran into my room and bit her way up my arm before sinking her teeth into my neck, vampire style, to…

That cat has had enough of this twee Juno bullshit.

I know, but sometimes we just don't make it.

Cassiebear, getting to the heart of shit since. . . wait, when were you born again?

This reminds me of a quote from Superbad:

It scares me how there is seemingly an infinite supply of creeps on the internet. I bet most of those people are totally pleasant in real life too. Like, it makes me worry that I have some acquaintance or neighbor or coworker or distant relative who blows off steam by going online and making fun of domestic violence…

So we're done with blow jobs now, right? Wrap it up, ladies, the bros have spoken.

or i could write some nonsensical fan fiction