This story doesnt make sense as written.

To be fair, “alive girl” sets a very low bar, but it’s an important one.

Also, I’m kind of inspired, I mean, how old is he? To meet and connect with someone who makes you feel like writing these wonderfully heartfelt clumsy corny things is so hard. The fact that he was still married aside, I’m happy for him?! And impressed with anyone who lets themselves be vulnerable—a hearty clap on…

While “I love you alive” is definitely an odd thing to say, i think ALL sexts in just plain written form are going to be cringeworthy. Whenever you read someone elses sexts its the least sexy thing on the planet, but when you’re alone at night, tipsy, horny, and giddy with anticipation suddenly those sexts are…

Isn’t it “leaving neverland”? Finding neverland was something totally different.

A. This is too close to me for comfort.

The best line is when Bruce Willis is sitting downstairs and he says something like, “Do you want to go to [whatever that Philadelphia train station market is called]” and the off-screen wife replies, “I can’t deal with the Amish today.”

My balls aren’t even that big...

And also, people talking about “spreading their wings” is pretty common. It doesn’t immediately register to me as Buddhist. It’s just one of those things people say, Lindsay.

No, anyone who doesn’t submit shouldn’t be fired, they should be treated as a potential suspect. 

The problem is, I’m only interested in dicks that are erect. A limp dick might as well be a big toe, as far I’m concerned.

But that would require the entire staff submitting to tests as well to match

That's some Gilead-level dystopian present bullshit right there. 

I’m a bit of a layperson pain expert. I’ve battled constant chronic pain for over 15 years now.

Inside your ear...

On April 26 2016, I woke up in the recovery room of a hospital, not knowing how I got there, in the worst pain of my life. i was still partially paralyzed from the anesthesia, but could feel an intense pain in my left leg, plus I was laying on my sciatic nerve, my throat felt like it was on fire and I had bright…

How about this L5S1 herniation the size of a gumball?

Yes it does, you 19 year old