PATAGONIA is the best!

She stared for a few seconds, then shifted in her seat and settled in to watch the show with a barely concealed smirk:

I put vinaigrette [aka Italian dressing] in the pit depression...and then eat the avo with a spoon.

Oh I see, that’s just like ordering a cappuccino after 12:00 in Italy. 

GAH, that’s a hack? I use a silicone spatula for cleaning out the bowl, getting out every bit of egg, and then to stir the scrambled eggs.

We have an old washer (non-HE) and I pour in the detergent first, then I rinse out the cap with the fill water.

Sometimes you fall in love with a person, not their genitals. 

Which part of it makes you uncomfortable?

You can be very careful and quick. A lot easier than removing the plate.

I wish I could have given you some of my poop.
Cuz my poop is the shit.

What would he call you all?

I thought Subway bread was mostly yoga mat?

Coo Coo, she can give her fellow inmates NXIVM skin brands!

Why would you remove the strike plate? That’s your bottle opener.

With the strikeplate of any door lock.

My french press carafe broke. I tried using the Melitta + paper filter but found it lacking. So now I make a Moka with extra hot water to bring it to Americano strength. Nobody’s hacking me!

Portland got a shout out!

Meghan McCain had a baby, a girl. Her name is Liberty.

Just wait for the Italians and Asians to fish them out.