Flightless bird?

I think film students would be insufferable no matter what your occupation is.

Did you know in French it’s spelled Tchad?

I just got a bunch of dental work done and small hands are a FUCKING Godsend.

Travolta after his jungle gym dance to “All Shook Up” in Look Who’s Talking Too.

How is this not a limited-time Missy coffee variety?

I am bereft.

I went to a concert in the park. I brought cheese & crackers, grapes, and White Claw Ruby Grapefruit and it was delightful.

We call it VANTUCKY.

So while there are still states that race dogs, that means we’ll prospective grey owners will never get to raise a greyhound puppy, huh?

I thought Budokan was a place Cheap Trick performed?

First Aid 101: NEVER REMOVE THE HELMET OF A CRASH VICTIM.

Or a new Brazilian cocktail.

That is a sensible heel. Unlike...

Meh. I prefer my celebrities to be portrayed in legumes and seeds:

A really nice Uber drive I met (he lived in Salem to escape the crazy rents in PDX, y’all!) told me he was moving to El Paso and you can be sure I scoured the names and ages of the shooting victims to look for him. Update: he was not among them.

I present to you, the triple dick:

And do people in Paris, Texas, or Naples, Florida, get confused too, do you think?