Sure, if you think electing yet another unqualified celebrity is just what this fucked up country needs.

That’s a plan we could have gone with from the get-go.

My pro-Trump buddy has turned against him quite hard. Now that he has his tax cut he’s ready for Trump to go.

I calmly responded but literally ran out of breath and had to get a glass of water answering that question.

You should have asked him the same thing about Obama.

Man, remember when the Simpsons would just refer directly to the thing they’re mocking rather than invent some in-universe knockoff as a sort of lazy non-joke?

It’s probably because Asians can’t drink milk..... ;)

We can create an award for media outlets that the award-giver wants shut down. They’ll be called the Thielies, and Gawker definitely gets one.

Even better... he’ll award one to Gawker!

I choose to believe he left American Gods to focus full time on those reboots of Hannibal, Pushing Daisies and Wonderfalls.

I hate it so much when she’s floated as a Democratic presidential candidate.

If Oprah could license medical doctors, I wouldn’t study for the boards.

Isn’t this guy already in trouble for assaulting his transgender co-stars on the set of Transparent?

I’m beginning to think this guy isn’t even a real Phil.

Doctor Phil, a man who is as genuine as his psychology diploma.

Why on earth would you want to do that?

There is some real cosmic chicanery going on here: The only original major character left alive is the only one played by an actor who has passed. 

Yeah but this one tiny nitpicky thing ruined RUINED RUINED! the movie for me and therefore everyone else!!!

Reportedly, Vader lost his other arm as punishment. It could have been worse: the guy who built the Death Star got killed, cloned and then killed again every time he screwed up until it was done.

Me: “I don’t really need this vein in my wrist to remain intact.”