Screw that... If I won the lottery I would use the money to buy this automotive blog so every article could include a line or two about how awesome and how modest I am. It would go like this:

Patrick George:
Powerball Winner Will Use His Money To Buy Awesome Used Car
"Bla bla bla, Acura NSX, but Zeeboid wouldn't do…

Finally. Someone worthy wins a lottery.

Actually, that's what I'm doing to the Big Three...to Audi I say:

Hey Audi

I don't think they want used cars. They want jobs and money!

Listening to what kids want in a car is a great way to sell cars to old people.

I just want a god damned station wagon.

Lamborghini Diablo? I don't know a ton about them, and I could call a buddy of mine who's an expert on Lamborghinis, but he's out of town.

I'd give ya $50 for it.

They were gonna post the best Ten Black cars but they all got stolen.

Only because you can't see the grime coating those tiles...

Well, they actually look pretty good. I'll give it to them.

Cops apparently want to talk to this man. Unfortunately they cannot catch up to him as he has over $100k under the hood of that car.

Egyptian Roflcopter go SOISOISOISOISOISOI.

I'll take a licence plate frame any day if it makes them happy, you can remove it when you get home, or leave it on for as long as you want. It is a reasonable compromise.

Subaru SVX, didn't come with a manual transmission.

You sound like a lot of fuckin' fun.

The car is sweet. The video is executed by someone with all the right slider gear, color-correction software and COMPLETE lack of any taste.

[reads article]

In fairness to my thick-headed brethren, most guys are all too used to the disdainful scoffs and eye-rolling that come whenever they talk about cars, sports, video games, etc. around women. Obviously there are women who like all those things, but most of them either don't or pretend they don't. Meeting a woman who do…