OOOH I like it. That name has legs. Four legs!

Sorry, I was just trying to attribute an evil quote to literally the most wholesome person I could imagine, and "POOF", there was Cal. I'm not an Orioles fan, but he always seemed like a stand up fella.

"Just keep repeating the same lie over and over and people will believe it." - Cal Ripken, Jr.

The Regal Beagle always did sound kind of lame. If I owned a bar it would be called the Incontinent Dachshund.

Pastor Tim's hair became sentient and consumed his head.

Aderholt! Aderholt! Aderholt! So nice to see him again.

Can I be the viceroy of Flavor Town? I'm willing to settle.

Bring it in. Bring it in for the real thing.

I just realized that this is how they tear us apart. From within. I love you, Lemur.

In all seriousness, on a tablet, is there a way to fix this?

I can't see the first letter on the left hand side of the screen. Is ormally a word, now?

On't now hat ou're alking bout.

I tried that and even full screen, the layout is broken. Other articles are bleeding through, avatars are missing, dogs and cats are living together, etc.

Yeah, but then I can't see all the witty rejoinders, pithy asides and bon mots. Plus the OF COCK jokes. Do you have any idea how long it's going to take to scroll down an OF COCK joke now? Do you? Do you?

The picture accompanying the article is pretty infuriating, so you might be on the winning side of this one.

And the room service was top notch.

I tried to comment on your John Mulaney reference and it kicked me on to a different comment. My snark, it's, it's weakening. This is how they win.

I know, right? Now it's like I have to WALK to the bathroom!

I can't even see your avatars, and that, that pains me. I need your avatars to face my night terrors.

Which is weird after SNL gave the A.V. Club two shout-outs. Wait, does anyone else smell cheetoes and flop sweat?