“And really I’m not saying he’s evil or a monster. In fact I don’t think Hitler was.”

Donald Trump might be the next president of your country and this is what you decide to complain about?

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

Really? I thought sparklers were hotter.

Is Gamergate still a thing? Can’t we just ignore it more til it goes away?

Once again, dogs are better than humans.

I can think of easier money hustles than accusing someone of rape.

What kind of dudes do you know with her breasts and ass/hips? Her body is feminine as fuck, even if its muscular. She actually has a round curvy ass, unlike the straight flat boyish model figure.

So is Ronda Rousey and that doesn't seem to affect her marketing. Read a book.

Rovell: Maybe it turns out racism isn’t even racist. Maybe it turns out the invisible hand is black.

But the guns were there to protect Norton and Stumbo from the notoriously violent Pokémon fans.

Just another example of the liberal media doing its best to strip Americans of their God-given Second Amendment rights in order to pave the way for a Clinton-run dictatorship.

I tried it once a few years back. Some woman in my book club turned out to be a raging anti-choice, anti-gay asshat. Oh, and anti-birth control. Leave it up to God! But I was all, well - it’s book club and maybe it’s good to have different views and maybe something I say will give her pause to think.

I stop being friends with them. And now, in my 27th year, I have thinned out my friend ranks because it’s not my job to educate or enlighten or try to change people’s minds. There’s no way in hell I can act civilly with the lady I went to high school with who’s intensely pro-birth/anti-choice. I don’t have the drive…

That’s what I was trying to do an homage to. Sandler is worse though as Schneider doesn’t even try to pretend he’s any good at what he does.

Alternatively

Also, you’re not generally awake for a colonoscopy.

Could you just be the designated reviewer of all Adam Sandler movies?

And they’re generally less shitty.

At least colonoscopies have a clear beginning, middle and end.

Thank goodness the guy didn’t have money, or they’d never have been able to tell if he intended to pay or not. Seriously, the kill kit should have been enough evidence by itself that he didn’t plan to pay.