It doesn’t make any more sense when you make it bigger. Maybe if it’s red, white, and blue, over the background of a soaring eagle ...?

“She didn’t want Lilly to learn about black history,” he said, “She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy.”

MEOW IS THE TIME #limberbutt2016

Reminds me of something I read just last night, in a book about consumerism in Western society and how Buddhism relates to it:

This is similar to when people ask you on the train when the baby is due and you just ate a burrito right?

He’s making the logical fallacy that because it’s not a part of his immediate experience, it’s not real. He doesn’t beat his wife, therefore no women can be taken seriously with reports of abuse. He’s not poor, therefore anyone who is poor just isn’t trying hard enough.

This furthers my campaign to get a group of squids renamed to a squad.

Oh man. Crash Bandifuckincoot 2. My. Goddamn. JAM. That was my first actual PS1 game (tekken 2 demo disc that I wore out doesn’t count). I got it in 3rd grade, before I even got a memory card. I used to see how quickly I could beat the game in one sitting, because I hated doing the thing where you leave it running but…

You mean like the Death Penalty, or the War on Drugs, or the Invasion of Iraq? Remind where to box on my 1040 is that lets me “opt out of paying for things I don’t like” is because that seems useful.

Yes, I am, so I’ll keep bitching, thanks.

I bet in IMAX that Ant-Man is regular-person size.

And one very impactful “You SON OF A BITCH!”

I liked it a lot. I would like to tell you my favorite part, but there are so many I couldn’t choose. It’s just fun. I’ll be watching it again this weekend.

“This social event organized by one team was in poor taste at best, and not reflective of the culture we are building desperately want you to believe we have here at Twitter. We’ve had discussions internally with the organizing team, and they recognize that this theme was ill-chosen.”

Okay humanity, don’t let me down. If this makes more than Ant-Man this weekend I am going to be so disappointed in you.

Fine, fine - scrape the little bastards out of the womb and let them fend for themselves if they’re so viable, then. Bootstraps, etc.

You guys. I love wedding ceremonies. If we’re casually acquainted and you invite me to your wedding, I will weep genuine tears of joy at the ceremony like I’m your goddamn grandma. However. I would rather go to a wedding reception and watch Shoah and Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 at the same time than watch a video of the…

I don’t remember where I heard it, or who said it, but the best description of Diners Drive-Ins and Dives is:

RIGHT? SHE IS SO LOVELY.

Baby everything.