That rear end just keeps going. Too much sausage.

Enough about the car. Tell us about the tacos.

Nah, you just need more practice at drunk flying. Keep at it.

First and last overhead bins. Usually labeled “crew only.” Don’t tell anyone I told you that.

How long does it take to have two drinks? 1 hour? If that is two doubles in 1 hour, I bet that is quick enough.

But it fills me with joy. Much like being a dumbass fills you with a bad attitude.

Yeah, but why? Airline flying is a hell of a lot safer than every other form of travel. Gotta be the TSA.

Smart move. Play the house against itself. Stakes are higher, but odds are forever in your favor.

That lady is fucked, mentally and physically, if she thinks circumcision makes a difference.

What is it about flying that makes people what to get drunk/stoned?

You must be a defense attorney. ;)

I drive a 228... sometimes.

You’re right, I have no idea because we don’t test each person. Personally, I don’t care if you are drunk or stoned, but as an airline captain, I am required to deny you boarding if you are intoxicated/impaired. And that includes prescription meds.

Yep, afraid so. You’ve heard the phrase, “ignorance of the law is no excuse?” Here is the applicable Federal Aviation Regulation: https://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/14/91.17

Why? Because I spoil your fun? Or because I actually try to improve the comfort and safety of my crew and customers?

I agree, two drinks is fine. Two doubles makes a 180 pound man legally intoxicated.

You may get denied boarding some day. If you do, don’t get angry.

That is illegal as well. The FAs are supposed to monitor how much you drink and cut you off when appropriate. Of course it doesn’t work that way, and no one cares until people get stupid.

True, but it does happen and then the drunk guy gets mad and makes a scene.

Please don’t fly when drunk or stoned. It is illegal for us to allow you on the plane in that condition, so don’t make us deny boarding to you.