hahaha i just find nothing appealing about this guy at all...i dunno.

Like Kilimanjaro across the Serengeti—such is the shade that Aretha throws.

ok i admit that i don’t really follow the hot goss on all of this...but drake just seemed so THIRSTY at the VMAs and trying to make her night all about him and she just condescendingly smiled and nodded at him. I don’t get any of this...she is literally the embodiment of a land mermaid and no man is good enough for…

Right. I’m sure my cat would be much better on a street, where he would’ve died in a couple of years after spending endless nights starving, being scared, cold, and in constant danger of being attacked by people or dogs.

Did the mom at least give the new kid a chance? Maybe he was much better than her own kid! Upgrades!

Yeah, you hear that, cat!? I’ll make you work for your damn food, because I’m in charge, and I’m in control on MY life and you aren’t the boss of me and...oh who am I kidding, yeah, I’ll get you another can of wet food, just hold on a second.

Hahahaha. 100% serious! I didn’t see the name on the video. I have no idea what this song is called or who sings it.

I’m pretty sure the reason no one eats with him is not because of his disability but because he’s a ginger. My coworker is a ginger. They have no soul. That’s right Eli from R&D I just said you have no soul!

Which means we’re 3 days from the 11th anniversary of “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

It tastes like when you accidentally breathe too soon after spritzing perfume.

Are those pants? I’m sorry, probably not the takeaway I was supposed to get out of this, but wow.

Of course, Battle Star Galactica.

She should make her own version of the Batman song from the Lego movie... I might actually like her if she did.

I love sleeping naked in the winter. A massive down duvet and chilly in the room makes for fantastic sleep.

Found the never-nude.

Dismissed. Anyone else want to use a new burner to blame the victim? Come at me you pieces of shit.

Fuck Mike Pence.

I spent a year in Korea and it was the easiest tour I ever did. I can’t wait till we reach peak Nationalism and we start doing surprise reunions after a two month TDY to Florida.