She eats peanut butter the way those two virgins kissed for the first time at their wedding.
Also, her peanut butter dealer is supercute.

For reals. Pop culture is constantly recycling style. Doesn't make it inherently good or bad.

I compared Santa's letters to my mom's handwriting (the Easter bunny didn't leave me letter) and was super confused as to why they were different (I was already skeptical at this point). Years later I found out that she's ambidexteous, and wrote Santa's letter in her non dominant hand. Sneaky.

They should've hired Chuck Testa!

Do you know Juanita? Do a google image search for "Juanita Weasel." Minutes of fun are guaranteed.

The staff should've come back in like this:

I'm biased because I live here / am from here...

I made you a Christmas present!

I think we should replace the bald eagle as our national bird with an avocado with paper wings stuck to it.

He doesn't even work in our office. He just gets to work without pants on, remotely.

Nothing is cuter than this French Bulldog (except maybe his owner).

Somewhere out there, Bill Buckner is clicking "like" on this video so hard.

All the inane zooming around furniture and excited growling makes me miss my childhood dog. A little Matlese named Sassy. :(

One of my Great Danes grabbed the turkey carcass off the counter one Thanksgiving and ran laps around the house with it. I freaking love those big dummies.

In Māori legend the kiwi is honored for its selfless decision to come down from the trees and protect the forest by eating bugs and insects:

I'm now literally weeping for those kiwis I've lost in my life.

Ugh doesn't she look great! I'm 8 months pregnant and I got a bad case of beef back (ie my back looks like a slab of cow hanging in a butcher shop-sooo freakin big) and I can no longer "sit like a lady". If I wear white I look like big hero six. This is my current state

I mean, I pick up the piles of laundry and take out the bathroom trash so I don't get judged, but other than that . . . nah. Wait, I also lock away any sex toys, but that's just common courtesy I think.

I asked my friends, put the message out on Facebook. I got like, 10 recs from people. I had each cleaner come out, walk around, and give me a bid. I ended up picking one who walked in and- upon looking at my house that had just that day been cleaned by another housekeeper- walked around in total disgust saying: "They…

I kinda loved your grumpy comments, but not at the expense of you having a bad day. Hang in there!