That's Dev'lin, my lil old man.. and his plate, because he's starving and wants everyone to know that he's got it clean and ready for more food. He's 10 and a half now, and AWESOME. We've had my aunt's dog live with us for a while, and now we took in my sister's dog, and both of them have learned that Dev is a pretty…

I once ate 3/4 of a lemon cheese cake. Turns out it tastes the same coming back up.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

I'm pretty sure I got the worst ever solicitation on okcupid. It was, "Do you have any fetuses?"

...OK, full disclosure, I think this guy sounds amazing and would totally start a correspondence with him if I were single. He's an absurdly honest nerd with enough knowledge of history to make subtle Jonathan Swift references, who's so focused on not being a creeper that he recommends that interested ladies arrange…

When my kid asks me where babies come from, I'm just going to say "When a man and a woman love each other very much, the woman puts her hand on her stomach. Then a stranger takes a picture and publishes it. That's how a woman gets pregnant."

A Lannister always pays his vets.

UGGGH. I raised goats for 15ish years growing up and was made fun of and teased mercilessly throughout the entire time. Apparently, being the #1 dairy goat showperson in your state has NO BEARING ON HIGH SCHOOL POPULARITY. Such bullshit.

If Goat Simulator wants to demand more than a combined 30 minutes of my attention, it needs to become a game with more concrete goals than just faffing about.

As it stands, this just feels like a severely limited version of a Havok-based physics playbox like Gary's Mod.

Introducing Gary the goat.

My husband loves goats. We'll go to the zoo or state fair or something, and they follow him around and nuzzle him - and he doesn't even have any food. It's so weird.

I think my sister is getting ready to get two baby goats. Actually, she's thinking about getting one baby goat, but she's going to get two, she just doesn't know it yet. Apparently you get them when they're really little, so they bond with you. And since they eat the weeds that horses don't, they're actually going to…

I work with a lot of graphic/UX people and this shit is HARD. Our graphics guy is so talented and there is no way I could even dream about doing his job. I bring him the most absurd shit and he makes a graphic out of— right to my specifications.

ROSEBUD WAS HIS SLED. THAT HAD A BUTTHOLE ON IT.

Go Taylor! It's your birthday!

Backpfeifengesicht

Please tell me Milkshake doesn't do that thing where they drag their ass across the floor. That would kind of ruin it for me.

That's almost worse than the email I received (while he was at work) that read "I've been thinking about it [getting married]. It may be a good idea."

Smörgås (as in smörgåsbord - smörgås = open faced sandwiches, bord = table) are so yummy!!! There are a variety of pretty common/traditional recipes usually with a combo of shrimp or seafood, cheese, eggs, herbs like dill, radish, cucumber - stuff like that.

No. No Jew I know would eat #2 and #3 open-faced. Sure, if it's just a bagel with cream cheese, you eat that open-faced, but if lox is involved, it's a goddamn sandwich.