A dirty martini does not require clear ice cubes in the shaker. Considering I like my gin very herbaceous, minerally ice probably adds to the taste. I think I'll experiment for the sake of all of my fellow Jezzies.

I think in this case, I'd prefer to see how the sausage is made than to watch it "consumed" in this fashion.

Damn, y'all taste like turkey, Tom!

Get this: I read this and all I could think of was penis lobster with butter explosion!

This? Meh. The guy who did the pregnancy shot in Superman briefs: amazeballs!

you're way too cocksure with that ass name, sir.

Can we celebrate our respective lukewarm acceptance by nibbling chicken wings and cupcakes decorated with now-banned silver pearl sprinkles? Seems only fitting....

All I needed to read was "Customer Bites..." and I KNEW it was a Pinkham story. I'm not at all disappointed in that.

Placed an ad in the Chicago Reader (pre-internet days) for a female roomie, requesting she have a steady job, no pets or other dependents, own means of transportation, etc. After interviewing an endless stream of wackos, I get a call from a young woman who is starting as a grade school teacher at a neighborhood…

These + Bacon + Garlic + Blue Cheese.

I'd ask the plastic surgeon for a refund. There's a subtle curve.

Pardon me while I try to retrieve my eyeballs from the base of my skull. The eye roll triggered by Megan's idiocy left me a bit disoriented.

Mister TrixAndSam is built like this (though not through MLB) and by god, a hug from him is the most delicious thing in the world.

Identical twin here.... My sister and I have zero minus a billion interest in sharing everything, especially a man. We shared a womb because we had to; after that, all bets are off. (Thankfully we were never attracted to the same type so no issue there.)

look at that face!!!!!! Sigh. Terriers are the best.

thank you, this encompasses my response to every bit of my frustration, disappointment and absolute disbelief at our SCOTUS. let me just add a crisp BITE ME.

Thanks! My dream rescue dog is an Airedale. Love me some sassy terrier.

Salvador Dali's take on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang during his dairy intolerance phase.

Airedale: these are not the balls you're looking for.

Is this the pig of which you speak? Drop a toaster/ hair dryer in the tub? Auf oneself per Lana's plaintive lament?