Pity the nation whose leaders are liars, whose sages are silenced,
and whose bigots haunt the airwaves.
Pity the nation that raises not its voice,
except to praise conquerors and acclaim the bully as hero
and aims to rule the world with force and by torture.
Pity the nation that knows no other language but its own
and no…

Aeropress! Everyone, get an Aeropress!

Another alternate reality Easter egg: Elliot’s employee ID is 07/23/91, the date that birthed the Mandela Effect.

“Lucky son of a-...the things a man could do with something like that...Good for him.”

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Songs that should never be played again, an incomplete list:

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”

Today, in “how to get sued 101"

Dude the worst part about Halloween on a Tuesday or Monday is that there’s no consensus day to dress up and get drunk. I went out dressed up on Saturday and felt like an asshole cause most people dressed up on Friday.

They should ungrey you for this.

The best touchdown celebration is a good solid spike. It’s simple, it’s direct and it gets the point across that you just did something cool. When possible, it should be proceeded by a few yards of high stepping it into the end zone.

Last guy, D. What the fuck! Isn’t the whole point of going out that everyone can get what they want?

It’s okay. They can air it in the Sudan when they pass out the championship t-shirts.

It seems pretty apparent that the secret service guy accidentally shot JFK from the car behind them when it sped up. I don’t know why this story isn’t more mainstream.

What happened is the right team won.

And a strong dislike for the Astros

John Carpenters In the Mouth of Madness

And I bet the Cowboys won’t even interview Colin Kaepernick!

Right?! He is likely gonna blow a c-note at the concert but won’t break out with a couple bucks for sure-fire bunghole relief? I wish he would have been caught by the police either shitting or pissing in public, and have to be registered as a sex offender for his crimes against common sense.

This is when you drop $5 for a quick shit and always-okay Spicy Italian, my friend.