@Triphena: @all: Fair enough.

I hear ya, Michael Lohan. I've been saying for years how anti-Popsicle sticks I am, but no one listens. If only people would start making all delicious frozen treats like Italian Ices...

Y'know, Jessica Alba, your outspokeness about how stupid certain traditions are would hold a lot more water had you not totally had a shot-gun wedding with your off-again on-again boyfriend when you got knocked up. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

@Raised-byHeathens: Yeah, as a former little sort of weird kid who grew up to be a pretty normal, intelligent, and fully-functional person, it's a little scary to think that my little "quirks" then would likely be considered "symptoms" now.

@Michelle13: I feel really bad about inflicting them on Italy. Europe in general really doesn't need another reason to look down on Americans.

In fourth grade, my teacher announced that we were all getting older and would need to go home and ask our parents for deodorant because we smelled after recess. I know it sounds bad, but it was so matter-of-fact I don't remember anyone getting upset or embarrassed. It was kind of on par with (but certainly less…

@WrittenPyramids: Oh, no doubt she's deeply troubled. She's definitely unwell. I also hope she and her husband get some intense counseling.

Wow, that woman from Seattle is fuuuucked up. I really can't even wrap my head around this to say anything worthwhile...well, other than nice crocodile tears, lady.

I mean, of course it's important to eat right and not drink when you're pregnant and all that shit, but as I pointed out to a freaked-out friend who had a pretty decent St. Patty's Day weekend-long binge before she discovered she was pregnant, Courtney Love managed to give birth to a healthy baby. Relax.

I'm glad to see Sue Ellen Crandell has moved away from the black/neon combo finally.

...And then she pulled the ribbon off and her head rolled off because SHE WAS REALLY THE GIRL WHO DIED IN THE CAR ACCIDENT ON PROM NIGHT AHHHHHH!!!!

Is...is that the right caption? Because if she's still waiting for make up, she needs to see a doctor, STAT. Or maybe an exorcist.

@winner: Oh, yeah, some vitamin c and pilates will clear that right up.

Black rubber sheets sound wildly uncomfortable.

@winner: Def. bullshit. Kate Gosselin's stomach turned into an old man butt after 2 less kids than she had. I can wrap my head around the idea that she could loose the fat and tone the muscle up, but her skin would still be totally fucked.

I didn't realize this is how Chloe relaxed after a tough day at CTU.

@NewsBunny: That was the feeling I got too, just a dumb dad joke. I certainly didn't get the feeling he was trying to pimp them out as others apparently heard.

There's something about these famewhore types that make me really disbelieve everything they have to say, or at least only accept maybe 15% of it as truth. I'd be willing to be Snooki's eating disorder went a little more like:

The only people I've ever seen use the term "wifey" have been some hysterical drama-queen types from high school that I foolishly friended on Facebook who post incessant tmi posts about their wildly unstable relationships, and are all, to a woman, unmarried.

Wow, I may be almost as much of an asshole. Here's my thought train upon reading that: "Wow, what a clueless little- wait, did she say LAST season of Gossip Girl? LAST?! LIKE, FOREVER! NOOOOO!"