@I_can_still_pitch: It does get to a point where you're like, Why not just smash a keyboard and call it whatever you like? "This is my daughter, Guiowgoh;godpibgu///hd5fpibuhdriau. No, it's pronounced Emerald Unique Flower."

@Kali Mama: I would come back from the dead and poltergize the shit out of whoever ordered that.

@jemandtheholograms: Oh, I believe it. I'm sorry.

Can I suggest another office-related sin? Using Comic Sans font. Unless you work in a clown office it is just not professional.

@I_can_still_pitch: A friend of mine is a teacher and has twins in her class this year: Dy'mind and Paryss. Last year she had a girl named Haven-Jinnae, pronounced "Heaven Jenny". She's like, seriously, giving your kids stripper names isn't bad enough? You've got to fuck with the spelling for no good reason too?

How do Meleny's parents live with the knowledge that they created this horrible waste of life? "I don't do work." My God. My God, what a little bitch.

For one horrible moment I thought that was Rufus.

@Mr. Guy: I agree. I wish I looked like her all the time, not just one glorious month in November of '96.

@ManhattanManHatin': Pretty much.

@Triphena: Huh. How did you end up here?

@PhillyLass: I have faith that they are so horrible that they would be sucked into a black vortex of evil before a complete period of human gestation could occur.

@oshinko roll: You're a genius.

Mademoiselle was great, and they will forever have a spot in my heart for a cover they did with Laeticia Costa that for some reason, looked like me. To the point were 3 people at school and the clerk at the grocery store asked if it was me one the cover, which was just about the best thing ever to a 16-year-old. …

@Fizzy77: I would set him on fire if he spoke to my mother like that.

I think he and Casey Anthony should get together. They'd make a lovely couple. Right up until they both went missing.

Polygraphs seem to me to be about as meaningful as the e-meters Scientologists use at the mall. That being said, everyone knows you killed this wife, too, Drew. Cut the shit and the famewhoring.

@carlafrompr: He's like a rare bird. Lovely plumage.

@BeAgrestic: Yeah, I think that like a year after you graduate, all relationships that occurred during high school are declared null and void and therefore do not fall under the ex-boyfriends-you-can't-date umbrella.

@babytuna: Ahh, the rare disorder known as anthropomorphic hirstutism. I see.

Also, can someone answer something for me? I only caught the last maybe ten minutes of this last night and am not a regular watcher, but from what I gather from here, Lauren and Doug dated a few times? Like, were they together in any meaningful way? Because the "you shouldn't have gone to dinner AND coffee with…