...Okay.

Few classes of people in this world are as batshittedly convinced of their own influence and importance than college newspapers nerds and jesus fuck I miss that world so goddamn much I’m 32 and my DEEP AND IMPORTANT COLLEGE NEWSPAPER EXPERIENCE made me a legal editor in a hidden kingdom of batshit crazy conservative…

It is a slight surprise since we were told the next mobile games would be the Animal Crossing and Fire Emblem ones.

Don’t you spoil this mild hyperbole with your “facts”.

I think the bigger surprise isn’t so much them making a Mario game on mobile (it was inevitable) but them actually showing up at an Apple conference specifically to announce this as opposed to announcing it on their own time.

Now, that sounds like part of the plot of a Dan Brown-style thriller.

At the very least we should send them a nice gift basket.

I mean...there were 3 punches and 3 kicks of varying strength in-game. And their first idea was injuring people. Hence, 6 buttons. Are you asking why it’s a rectangular layout and not hexagonal or something?

A yearly release for these sports games is a bad idea

Just had to delay this one too, didn’t you Jason?

i bet you sigh a lot on the internet

From a technical standpoint it is and that’s what the OP is talking about.

It kinda is, actually.

Fisher: I’m done playing, those days are behind me.

Counterpoint: Absolutely, as long as he joins Matt Barnes on the Kings.

You are the epitome of everything awful.

Luke- I’ma let you finish, but Phalanx had the best cover art of all time...ALL TIME!!

And people wonder why they can’t get, or hold, jobs? It’s shit like this. Be a fucking responsible grown up and don’t get piss drunk on a worknight. You’ve got a job to do, and you’re getting paid to do it, so show up at work in the right mental and physical state. This isn’t college anymore, it’s time to grow the…