I have no fucking clue how what you said is a valid response to my satirical comment.

...Okay.

Few classes of people in this world are as batshittedly convinced of their own influence and importance than college newspapers nerds and jesus fuck I miss that world so goddamn much I’m 32 and my DEEP AND IMPORTANT COLLEGE NEWSPAPER EXPERIENCE made me a legal editor in a hidden kingdom of batshit crazy conservative…

If the Watch is faster, won’t you be early for all your appointments?

That is usually what most people still mean. As in your device, computer, etc can never be fixed and is now like a brick.

How I long for the day when folks actually used “bricked” to mean it required a hardware repair, not a simple re-image.

Note: this appears to be fixable. Connect to itunes, hit “update” (NOT restore) - let it do it’s thing.

What on earth are you talking about? In no way will it cost you $300 to listen to music via an aux port while charging or headphones.

including those that rely on moving parts

It is a slight surprise since we were told the next mobile games would be the Animal Crossing and Fire Emblem ones.

Don’t you spoil this mild hyperbole with your “facts”.

I think the bigger surprise isn’t so much them making a Mario game on mobile (it was inevitable) but them actually showing up at an Apple conference specifically to announce this as opposed to announcing it on their own time.

Now, that sounds like part of the plot of a Dan Brown-style thriller.

At the very least we should send them a nice gift basket.

I mean...there were 3 punches and 3 kicks of varying strength in-game. And their first idea was injuring people. Hence, 6 buttons. Are you asking why it’s a rectangular layout and not hexagonal or something?

So salty

A yearly release for these sports games is a bad idea

That was way more tame than I expected it to be.