I had sex with my FWB towards the end of my period. The next morning I had to get up and leave early and I got a text that afternoon: "you could have mentioned you were on the blob, I got up to pee and thought I was dying"

Oh no.

Blow job week?

Paint me feminine with a bow and let me feel a like a little girl. This is the art of being a woman and remembering the feelings of a girl.

real talk, everyone. I am a moderator on popular nice guy dating site okcupid. This means I spend about five minutes of every day, or at least days I remember to moderate, deleting dick pics. I've come to the following conclusion: there is no such thing as a good dick pic. I know some people like dicks because society…

"Take him away, officer".

It wasn't really a tough call. We both had shitty studios in the same complex and a shitty 1 bedroom was much less expensive. Gave me lots of time to break him in aka wear down his soul with my sloppy filth monster ways.

They come in a handy travel size too.

I can't bear to watch. Does the bird let the poor hippo up for air? How long does he hold the hippo under?

Sometimes you get tired and your friend who is the most fierce and majestically terrifying creature in all the animal kingdom is cool with towing ya

Imma ride one.

All hail Bird Jesus.

I send pictures of my bookcases to girls I am interested in lieu of dick pics.

Eh, I'd be ok with a Hot Ladies Reading account. Actually, better, just a "People reading" because frankly, I've known waaaay too many people who say, "I don't read" as a badge of honor. Like, you're a fucking adult that is not something to brag about. Reaaaad. Anything. I don't actually care what.

Nah.

I am starting to see America as a second world country with nice clothing, to be honest.

Ahh, are you lonely tonight, eagleinthewindow? Is this why you troll the internet with sad little diatribes? Nothing better to do. It's just sad dear. Go outside. Take a valium first for your anger issues, then go outside. Oh no, the blacks are out there aren't they. Waiting to take you in the night. Stay safe…

Me too! I was so excited to have a boy. Sometimes when I rock him to sleep at night, I whisper little feminist principles in his ear. "Women and men should make the same amount of money for the same work", "Patriarchy is damaging to all sexes and gender identities", "You can play with dolls, trucks, both, neither-…

Kitchen sets are awesome, and every kid should have one. Every. Single. Kid.