::JazzHands opens his journal and dips his quill in a fresh pot of ink. He pauses, gazing out the small gray, foggy square of light from his single window, as if to collect his thoughts. He writes::

This is the absolutely perfect response (scientifically speaking) given your previous posts. The content is great, but the all-caps really pushed it over the top. Well done.

“Please explain comedy to me.”

Since this ended in a thai, it went to a shootout.

“Did you know that Taylor Swift hands out light-up bracelets that synchronize to her music at all of her concerts?”

You’re seriously asking me why people use social media to share their lives with friends and family? If that’s too difficult a concept for you to grasp, I don’t think I can explain it to you.

By the same token, I don’t understand why people think pictures of children are something shameful that need to hidden away. The world doesn’t need to see the great majority of pictures posted on Facebook, and most people don’t choose whether or not to post photos of themselves, their families, and their lives on…

Once again proving that college students have WAY too much time on their hands.

I curbstone-purchased my current daily... Double checked with the third party on the title, and checked that I could get the title in my name with just an intermediary bill of sale. Turned out great.

Dude I bought it from was a retired Volvo mechanic who was trying to make up some extra money by fixing and flipping old…

Holy crap. I clicked on the video and knew exactly where she is at (sign me up to be an investigative reporter, ESPN. I have a college degree, am in good shape, have all my teeth, and live in an apartment). Before everyone absolutely rags on Britt here, let me play devil’s advocate for just one second.

No physical evidence? How about a shell casing/gum with DNA, video surveillance footage, tire tracks, etc. There were complications, sure, like a lack of a clear motive, and no murder weapon, but there was plenty of physical evidence.

Or maybe people need to revue honestly and the OEMs need to fix the surveys. What you suggest will never change the system.

“Sure, I appreciate it, Dad. Giving me a football with my own autograph on it just seems a little odd.”

What if we treated white men like this just for, like, an hour a year? So they know what it’s like.

Jesus, I haven't seen a Greek with that many men after him since Alcibiades.

Oh please expand on cutting weed down with other drugs. I am dying to hear this.

And on that bombshell, it's time for Top Gear to end.

In fact, there are plates on that green one, and an inspection sticker on the windshield.

You mean "if it's not Boeing, then it isn't kept alive by taxpayer dollars and massive congressional kickbacks and slush funds"?

What? That name is awesome!