Commas? Usually coffee only affects colons.

It would all start in Massachusetts....

“You are the biggest idiot on this thread.”

Rarely does one see a sentence that by its very posting immediately defeats its premise.

“There’s too much teeth in my blow job.”

Only Boston fan can complain that a book titled Belichick: The Making of the Greatest Football Coach of All Time is somehow unfair to them.

We were warned gay marriage would lead to this.

“Tom knows Bill is the best coach in the league, but he’s had enough of him. If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

“If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

At what point do you think he got concerned that he’s actually been diagnosed with a terminal illness and this was all an elaborate ruse to make his wish of hitting a MLB Home Run come true?

Getting two extra bases because somebody else doesn’t know what’s going on is great in baseball. It’s not so good in any other context.

Bradley should retire and go play in the MLS to make himself feel better. It worked for that tall Swedish kid from ManU who nobody remembers.

yeah, i think the decision is a bit harder if Dan Bailey isn’t just sitting there. 

It’s all good. Time for Daniel Carlson to take the next step and become a frequent Deadspin commenter.

Also obligatory

In a world where Alex Smith gets traded for a 3 and a pretty good CB, Eli Manning is not getting anyone a “couple of #1's”

He was benched for Geno Smith, which is disrespectful to everyone.

Well if it makes any one feel any better next week we can watch the Heartless Lions lose to Brady, Gronk, and whatever 20 other guys responded to the ad in Maxim magazine by Sunday. 

Obligatory

The Belichick coaching tree sprouts another withered, lifeless branch.

I wondered for a second why no evangelicals care that our pious Commander-in-Chief sought sexual relations outside of his sacred marriage, with a member of the adult entertainment industry no less. Then I remembered, Fox News hasn’t even hinted at this having happened. Trump is staying in the White House, working…