I actually didn’t watch any of the Bama Clemson game. Bama plays too boring of a style and the game was on too late for someone waking up at 545am to go to work.

The games should be played earlier for both the players and fans. And the championship should be on a Saturday. Same with the Superbowl. Forcing me to go to work tired and hungover isn’t cool.

Yes, Nick, at long last won’t someone think of the players?

‘We only paid our kids $30,000, outrageous!’

She must own 25%.

This reads like “how to build a case for relocating a sports team in the very near future.” Claim you need more fan support to be viable; fail to get said support; run back to the owners begging to move to Vegas or whatever.

[the preceding dialogue consists of Derek Jeter talking to himself in front of a mirror while Dire Straits plays in the background]

“So Mr. Jeter, with our standard ticket price, multiplied by an expected season ticket holder base of ... let me see ... zero ... we can expect season ticket revenues of ... sorry, just let me grab my calculator ... zero dollars.”

What a dummy. That keeper should have been willing to close on the three pointer and not worry about the single in net.

“Seems fine to me.”

Kaepernick just would not have been a good fit for this offense. But McCarthy’s flat-out refusal to consider ‘somebody’ shows what an inflexible, and insecure meathead he has exposed himself to be. For all those knee-jerk McCarthy supporters that keep saying Mike made Rodgers, why is he not getting blamed for…

I lost all respect for McCarthy years ago when he blamed a playoff loss on a mistake by a special teamer rather than his own late game play-calling cowardice.

Actually... might be worth seeing if that’s what actually happened. If he passed away in, say, 2014, that would explain a lot. Just a system of pulleys and levers operating him on the sidelines.

I was beginning to think Capers’ useless ass was going to be stuffed after death and still allowed to run the defense.

Now that’s some tape Rex Ryan will actually study.

“So wait you’re telling me there’s only one cup for the two girls?”

“PUT A LOLLIPOP IN HIS UNDERPANTS SO MOM WOULDN’T SEE HIM TAKE IT TO SCHOOL.- THERE WERE ANTS UNDER WRAPPER-PENIS PAIN, INSECT BITES” 

HIT IN PENIS BY COUSIN

• HAVING TESTICLE PAIN WALKING UP STAIRS AFTER BEING HIT WITH SOCCER BALL, STICKS, ROCKS THROWN BY FRIENDS 7 DAYS AGO

Don’t be. This is part and parcel of what a smart commissioner does. Jeter and the owners are getting murdered in the press so Manfred will try to deflect some of that his way. Gary Bettman basically made this an artform, letting every stupid “How come you hate Canada” question come his way from all the radio hosts up…