I’m heartbroken, too.

This is true.

One morning, shortly after I had been hired full time, one of our editorial fellows, Dan, sent an email to Tommy and me, explaining that he would be a little bate late getting into work because he’d been mugged the night before, and was still sort of getting himself together. Tommy emailed him back, telling him to…

Damn, that Republican primary is heating up

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

What these rankings don’t tell you is that Lions fans only use the words “send,” “water,” “food,” “police,” and “help.”

There is a decent chance he (and the rest of the Reds) would have won one if Phillips hadn't decided that hero ball was more important than playing the numbers.

"If we all just took our walks, nobody would be scoring runs."

"Why we changing the game after all of this time? If we all just took our walks, nobody would be scoring runs. Nobody would be driving anybody in or getting anybody over.

So they took probably the best helmet design wise (Cincinnati) and plastered an over-sized logo on it instead....how creative.

But what would you do if they met in the Super Bowl.

I take all my personal conduct cues from Goodell's ad hoc meting of punishment, which is why I withheld a park visit from my dog after she maimed the neighbor, and then I euthanized her for eating my pot brownies. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a humane society gala to keynote speak at.

If you're disciplining a one year old, you aren't even fucking trying to parent.

But what is the point of neopolitan ice cream if you aren't going to scoop it lengthwise to get all three flavors?