So much this! Our cops in New Zealand are (with a few rare exceptions) unarmed so they are forced to talk to people. Consequently, they are generally seen as nice people who are there to help. And they see offenders as real people too, whom they take great pains not to harm. Having more guns just makes everyone more…

I would like to add that I didn't even get a shower in the hospital. NO. SHOWER. I delivered in a huge, beautiful room with a walk-in shower, but was kicked out as soon as my epidural wore off. Then I was put into a recovery room used only during overflow periods (it was a full moon, apparently) that was the size of a…

My wife after 24 hours had an emergency C-Section and thankfully everybody turned out OK.

So true. Because we MUST have babies, and we MUST look like we didn't. "Letting yourself go" by looking postapartum... or permanently postpartum, which many of us struggle with, is pitiful. BUT! Don't you DARE go too far with looking like you didn't have a baby, because then you are are a selfish narcissist who is…

God, I'm tired of the way the Poors run conversations in America. Wah wah wah. Look at my problems. Look at my baby. Someone should help me take care of it!

With my first my husband had only been at his job for two months so onlytook two days off. I was in the hospital for a few extra days because of complications that resulted in a c section. That wasn't too bad as we had a nicu baby so at least I was close. Anyway 6 weeks after dealing with complications and a c section…

I don't know how to say this without sounding like an asshole, so I'll just go ahead and say it.

I love Shirley Jackson, and in her memoir Raising Demons she had a paragraph about being pregnant with her third child, and the notion in her area that the only reason a mother of two would put herself through it again was that mothers of two would do anything for ten days in the hospital.

There is really no direct benefit to society for a woman to have adequate rest time, so why do it? It really only benefits the woman herself and she would be more useful returning to her normal duties as a citizen. Assuming the baby comes out healthy - thanks to all of that prenatal care - the woman has served her…

I'm going to have to negotiate strongly for 2 months maternity leave (no FMLA) and my fiancee will have 3 weeks paid before he goes back. We have 124 days until our due date. We have no idea what we are getting into.

"Middle class" moms in South Africa face much the same. Don't even try being a teen mom - even less consideration or thought for recovery time. In our teen mom support group work I've come across 16 year olds back at school 2 days after giving birth to write exams - under pressure not to fall behind.

There's a reason most countries let a lady chill for several weeks after she's pushed out a baby

With my first baby I was pretty much on my own, in a new city, parents here but not very helpful, husband right back to work. I was depressed. With my second, I broke my shoulder one week before giving birth (which SUCKED for a lot of reasons, but not for the following ones) and my parents and other relatives…

I feel like it is impossible to have and raise children AND be happy in this country unless you family willing to help and/or you are very rich. Other than that, it feels like a losing game. Can someone tell me I'm wrong?

I think, when I decide to get pregnant, I'm going to hide it for as long as possible, give birth without announcing it, and disappear to an unknown location with my child until I feel its safe to avoid shit like this. It'll only take 8 years or so

The thing is though is that if you gave women basic levels of help after birth it would be much harder to diminish their social and political capital and maintain the growing serf class.

This comes from the American fetishization of individuality, independence, and choice. You CHOSE to be a mother, you CHOSE this. No one chooses to be in mourning or to get cancer (unless you are a smoker or something, I guess). It's the same value system that refuses to help poor people or the homeless or the…

Having a newborn in addition to recovery is effing hard on someone.

A seemingly endless stream of friends have been popping out minions recently... And some of my close friends planned well ahead so that She and her husband could take vacation while she recovered. Their baby is adorable, BTW.

Which is why after she…

I wish I had more help after my son was born. My MIL came to stay with us for a few days and it was so helpful, but after that I was pretty much on my own. I had a 4 year old and a newborn and a third degree tear to cope with. I ended up ripping my stitches with all the activity I needed to do just to keep us all…

I can so relate. I am lucky (LUCKY) that my employer grants 6 weeks paid leave since they aren't legally obliged to. I was back at work after that time - oh, and back in the seat at grad school the very next class session after getting out of the hospital from giving birth and having a blood patch for a spinal…