The "pay for your plate" comes from (in my understanding) Italian (and here in Montreal also Greek) weddings. At least here in Montreal it's where it comes from. At these weddings, you always give cash in an envelope and you assume your plate costs $150. So if you go with your significant other, you put $300 in the…

I have to disagree. You can have a super fun wedding with lots of people and keep costs down. Friends of mine got married back in October and it was really important for them to be able to invite everyone they wanted. So they did just that, but they had a cocktail reception. They made it very clear that no dinner…

It's happened to me a few times...the first time it was a deer in headlights moment where I thought "Did she just really say that?!?". The next few times it happened, I asked innocently "So why did you register then if it's just stuff?". I got sputtering responses from "it's tradition!" to "Weddings are the one time…

Your sister and I are the same person I think. I've had almost the exact milestones (swap law school with master's and PhD in engineering) and they've barely been celebrated. I've even been chastised by some marrieds when I mention it because "it's just STUFF, get over it, you'll get your turn when you get…

A friend of mine's godfather did somewhat the same thing. He never married or had kids, so when he went to law school, he sent invitation for a celebration party which included "registry" information which was basically cash. When asked about it, his attitude was "I ponied up for all your weddings and baby showers,…

I was hit by a car 6 months ago when crossing the street by someone who rolled through a stop sign. He didn't see me because he was paying attention to his phone. I was lucky, I walked away with a bunch of broken teeth, a nasty concussion and a banged up knee, but I could have easily died. So yah, don't text and…

This. I am a slob. And a woman. I come by it honestly and when I live alone, my house is usually a mess. BUT, a couple of years ago, I lived with a roommate. It took us awhile to get into a good groove. My picking up after myself wasn't up to snuff in the common areas, so she asked me to pick up more quickly. So…

What I find so astonishing is that so many women don't see it as a red flag... Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with the fact that these kinds of women are used to having things just "work out" if you work hard enough (i.e. are privileged). So they figure it isn't such a big deal...until it is and things don't…

I'm an engineer, so I have many male friends and acquaintances, and THIS SO MUCH! I'm currently back at school doing my PhD (in engineering) and I work with wonderful, thoughtful men all day who are the first to admit that the ladies are as smart and capable as the men. Until you point out how, in fact, women aren't…

I've seen this exact same thing with my friends. They change their name to put their husbands at ease that they are "truly committed" (and many are highly educated, liberal leaning, feminist identified like yours). They're partners have claimed that if they didn't change their name, they "arent' committed" or…

I am also an Engineer, currently studying towards a PhD. I identify as a feminist, but I understand B3LYP4LYFE position. I know many women in male dominated fields (computer science, engineering, math, etc) and many have the same attitude as Marissa Mayer or B3LYP4LYFE. I think the issue is many of us (including…